TAG RESULTS FOR: suitcase

The Suitcase Picnic Table for Impromptu Outdoor Get-Togethers

‘Tis the season for impromptu picnics and outdoor activities. The problem I have is that most of the times I throw the idea out there for a picnic, I get a lot of disgruntled people saying they’d rather be inside with a comfortable place to sit then be sitting on the dirty ground with bugs crawling all over them. OK, look pussies. Since your precious buttocks can’t accept the fact that nature is part of a great picnic, I’ve got... Continue reading

Suitcase Stickers: The Easy Way to Encourage a Strip Search

So you’ve had your eye on a certain special female airport security guard for quite a while now, but every attempt at making conversation has ended in utter defeat. Yeah, right, she has “work to do.” We’ve heard that one before. But she’ll have no choice but to fondle us now. Suitcase Stickers add a healthy hint of that bad boy bravado that airport security officials can’t get enough of. They just won’t be able to keep their hands off... Continue reading

Get Smart: Egg Edition

Alright chief. We have five minutes and I mean exactly five minutes to get these six hard boiled eggs to Mayor Bloomberg. You can’t lose them and if they fall on the ground, we’re finished I tell ya. The man needs his breakfast. Here, use my special egg suitcase for the task. It’ll hold all six of Bloomy’s eggs in one basket so to speak. Great joke, right? Wrong! Now get going officer. The fate of New York City rests... Continue reading

ICU In A Suitcase For Critical Conditions

Nowadays, everything has got to be compact and portable. If it isn’t, you might as well throw it out with the rest of the unnecessarily obtuse crap. Here’s something everyone shouldn’t leave home without: a portable Intensive Care Unit. It’s got all you need jam packed in a suitcase-sized carrying case. An integrated ventilator with CO2 & O2 monitoring, ECG, invasive and non-invasive blood pressure monitoring, low and high rate infusion pumps with a fluid warmer, and that’s not even... Continue reading

Portable Fireplace Is Great Insurance Fraud Kit

What better way to “accidentally” burn down your home and all of your loved ones sleeping peacefully insideĀ  than with this Travelmate portable fireplace by Conmoto. Oops! I didn’t mean to kick it over. Now all of my possessions are burning around me. The Mexico City fire fighting force does not approve. Good thing I have insurance. Alright, horrible thought, but what makes this portable fireplace noteworthy is it burns on bio-ethanol liquid fuel. It is a smokeless flame, preventing... Continue reading

SitBag Takes The Show On The Road

Back in the day when the only way musicians could make a name for themselves was packing a suitcase and hightailing it to California, many entertainers were forced to spending their days sitting on the curb of the streets of Hollywood. If something like the SitBag existed, perhaps it would have saved many sore ass cheeks. Able to work as both a chair or an ottoman, the SitBag takes the show on the road, while providing a nice comfy place... Continue reading

Portable Bar for alcoholics on the move

If you’re a college student or a raging alcoholic, the Portable Bar might be a cool item to check out. The Portable Bar allows for a quick bar setup anytime and anywhere your willing to wheel around a nondescript black case. In a very compact space, this bar on wheels fits in an ice well, a full size bus bin with inserts for juice containers, bottles and other alcohol filled supplies. A strong an sturdy metal speed rail can hold... Continue reading