Gearfuse

How often do you find yourself falling asleep at your computer as you surf the web into the early hours of the morning? Have you woken up with keyboard squares etched into your forehead? Maybe even stiff limbs? The “Pillows for Workaholics” suit will protect you from yourself and your stupid ass decisions.

Or maybe you could just stop the World of Warcraft marathons and masturbatory wank-fests, maybe go to sleep in a “bed” like a “normal” person who isn’t “addicted to transsexual porn.” That’s always an option. But why bother with tradition when you can just dress in the pillow suit? Narcoleptics could totally wear this suit around all the time for some extra protection, not to mention the entertainment value for onlookers. (more…)

While swimming is almost always a blast (save for when your boat capsizes), having a soaking wet swimsuit riding up your crack has never been a pleasure. A new company from Brooklyn called Sun Dry Swim is looking to change ass cracks around the world with a new nanotechnology that repels water from the swimsuit. The result is a self-drying suit that makes beads of water roll right off the material. It even provides extra UV protection from the sun, making it the perfect beachwear. Just don’t call it stylish or we’ll have to judge your taste in fashion.

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I’ve never seen a Slinky suit like this one. I’m not even entirely convinced there is a person inside that thing. I’m thinking it’s a rainbow turd from another planet which was sent here to amuse the Japanese. Everything amuses the Japanese.

Honestly, no human being can move their legs like that. It’s definitely a rainbow alien turd. I thought a Slinky desk lamp was weird but I guess I haven’t even broken the surface.

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Here at Gearfuse, we’ve seen loads of stuff that has no practical use in real world applications. Take that toaster scanner thing for example, a neat idea but totally worthless to anyone who isn’t scamming people by selling Mother Teresa-faced toast on eBay.  We recently took a look at JooYoun Paek’s website. She’s an artist and interactive designer that takes practical things, doubles them, then combines them creating a whole new worthless product no one will ever use. Don’t believe me? Check out her site to see one of the most absurd motor cycle helmets ever conceived. blah blah blahs lbhsldjf

While we applaud her enthusiasm, her latest design, the self-sustainable chair had us in awe. The idea is similar to those cushions integrated into pajamas, where not being able to find a seat is never a problem. It’s claimed to be a wearable piece of furniture taking on the appearance of a dress or garbage bag, whichever you prefer. The rear-end is inflatable, forming into a chair via pumps in the shoes. Paek hopes it will “transform the humdrum experiences produced by routine walking commutes into an amusing interactive performance.”  All it’s really going to do is make you look ridiculous, but being a design from JooYoun Paek, I guess that’s the point.

Editor’s Note: The suit is ridiculous. Watch the video. Read Ryan’s ramblings if you must.

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For those not familiar with Marc Owens’ work, he’s the man behind the Avatar Machine. It’s a suit which allows the user to view themselves as a virtual character in real space via a head mounted interface. Now he’s working on another suit that’s sure to turn heads. According to a study that found that 54 percent of all males and 68 percent of all females gender swap in a virtual setting, psychologists have proven that the majority of people aren’t satisfied with their gender and want to cut their genitals out.

Thankfully, Marc Owens has the cure. If you’re the kind of guy that feels comfortable dressing up in your mother’s clothes or the kind of girl whose always wanted to play QB on the high school football team then the Virtual Transgender Suit was made for you. It replicates the aesthetics of the typical virtual female form while portraying it in physical form, kind of like if you were to act out Facebook in a real life setting. So, if cross dressing just seems a little too gay for you, how about trying out the Virtual Transgender Suit? You’ll look like a woman but no one will criticize you because you’ll look like a virtual woman.

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Looking stylish with those cufflinks made from electronic oscillators. Yes, those are real 25 MHz oscillators  that’ll keep your sleeves looking nerdy for just $10.  Etsy member digiBling hand-makes all of her electronic-inspired jewelry that’s guaranteed not to get you laid. Maybe you could interface these with your Arduino or something? You could have some sort of crazy Arduino top-hat and tuxedo that flashes LEDs with wrists that emit dolphin tones…

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Let’s be square with one another: you haven’t used your WiiMotes since you got Super Smash Bros: Brawl. That’s alright though, because Tom Tlalim of the Netherlands was in the same boat as you. Using eight Nintendo Wii controllers, that previously were doing nothing more than collecting dust, Tom is able to create and manipulate sound in real time.
This is made possible through a sound software known as SuperCollider, which Tim utilizes in conjunction with the eight WiiMotes using a suit dubbed “W_space.” The Wiimotes attach to the wearer’s arms and legs with each WiiMote effecting a different aspect of the wearer’s movement to produce sound. It’ll keep you fit as you prance about like a fairy while making cool noises. Hey, you couldn’t look any more gay than when you play the Wii Fit!

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Sex-deprived geeks everywhere will be turning their heads toward Kevin Alderman’s wireless, consumer-level motion-capture suit that should be hitting shelves in 2009. For those who don’t know Kevin, he is the creative genius behind the sexual emotes found in the “massively-multiplayer-online-game” known as Second Life.

Kevin Alderman is in desperate need of some new sexual animations and needs the assistance of Second Life subscribers. With the help of this electronic rock climbing gear, players will be able to contribute sex animations to any virtual world of their choice. Add your own saucy moves to the net! Just have fun with it!

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What do Calvin Klein models wear on the battlefield? You think they’d be caught dead in the mandatory military wear? Ugh, as if! Camo is so last season. The Urban Security Suit, from Dutch designer Tim Smith, is a stylish upgrade to the classic camouflage look from yesteryear.

Complete with color coordinated gas mask, a stylish neoprene composition and lined with strategically placed body fit Kevlar, the Urban Security Suit is equal parts protection, ruggedness, and runway model. Sure, it’s not quite as inconspicuous as a full camouflage facade, but why hide when you look this good?

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When car companies do crash tests to test safety, they use test dummies. But what about testing automobiles for senior citizens? Nissan engineers have created a special suit which helps simulate movements of the elderly, which would help the company better optimize their cars for geezers.

The complete suit uses several techniques to create worsened vision and decreased physical movement. Luckily, the suit won’t make your bladder the size of a pea, or give you urges to attend bingo night. — Andrew Dobrow

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