With all that FCC brouhaha out of the way, XM and Sirius were able to move forward with their plans for a merger. Announced today, the new name of the combined companies will be Sirius XM Radio Inc. Boring as hell, right? No matter. There’s some major firepower behind this new company. It’ll be “the second largest radio company based on revenue and the second largest subscription media business in the U.S.” Now that’s power.

If you’ve got money to spend in a shit recession, the new stock ticker symbol will be SIRI. I believe Sirius gave XM shareholders $4.57 billion worth of stock total, so if you were holding onto some XM stock, you’re probably doing a little better right now.

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After pissing off investors, causing Apple stock to fall and acting shadier than Mickey Rourke after posting bail, Steve Jobs has finally spoken on the issue of his personal health. He claims he is fine and doesn’t have cancer and that everyone should mind they’re fucking business, essentially. This lets everyone breathe a sigh of relief, knowing that Apple’s famous CEO is doing fine.

That said, now everyone is going to be screaming about the “Mac Tablet.” Ugh.

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Investors won’t buy your stock if they think your CEO is going to croak the following year. After the WWDC conference in June, Apple reps blamed Jobs’ more than unusual thin build on an unspecified illness that required antibiotic treatment. Despite repeated requests, company officials are not commenting on the status of Jobs’ ailment.

Jobs is a survivor of pancreatic cancer and also happens to be one of the most powerful people in business. As such, his health is of great concern for those who care for nothing more than their wallet size.

For a visionary chief executive like Jobs - who drives the development of Apple’s hit products - health is a material factor in the company’s performance, and something investors should know about ASAP.

Well, no one lives forever. So, where will Apple be after Steve Jobs?
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For those not familiar with the term “salaryman,” it’s the Japanese term for male office workers who bend over backwards for their job and work overtime on a daily basis. After this, they crawl their way home on all fours, bickering about how much they hate their own lives. Artist Momoyo Torimitsu, in an effort to address the issue of recent economic crashes in various countries, has created a crawling robot resembling a salaryman.

The video shoes the robot crawling through Sydney, Australia in an effortless attempt to bite ankles. Torimitsu follows it, dressed as a nurse while maintaining its insides by way of an ass-panel opening. She says, “Crawling is the soldier’s motion in the battlefield. I would say this is the business soldier.” So, that’s why she follows it around dressed as a nurse. Now I get it, but it’s still awkward.

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