What a sweet ride! The Rasmus Gjesing ATB Tourist bicycle is the work of, you guessed it: Rasmus Gjesing. Gjesing’s company was founded 12 years ago and focuses on quality and design that tries to steer clear of the look of mass-produced bicycles.  With the ATB, everyone may think you’re riding an old bike, but that top-of-the-line Motorola MP3 helmet will make them think differently.

With that orange color and curved handlebar this bike has a retro look that makes a Commodore 64 LAN party look like the next Electronic Entertainment Expo. I’m mean, look at that seat: it’s straight out of the 70s, maybe earlier. This vintage design is quite costly, selling at $3200 dollars.

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Let me tell you something, you silly goose. Grilling isn’t a way of cooking, it’s a way of survival. As in, if I don’t eat a fucking burger in the next 45 minutes, I’m going to die of starvation. At least I think so. Either way, you need the Longhorn Steer Grill. It’s not just a grill, it’s a grill shaped like a steer/bull. Think of the possibilities: parties, bar mitzvahs and so much more. You can even put a cowboy hat on the cow and everyone will laugh at your carefully crafted joke. Yeah, you’re that good.

Made by Traeger Grills, the Longhorn Steer Grill isn’t for the grilling novice who can’t appreciate the taste of Lea & Perrins. A grill that goes for $1700 demands the utmost respect and patience. In time, you’ll find that with the right amount of beef and concentration, your stomach can swell to over six hundred times its regular size. At least that’s what my uncle told me.

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