Stationary products are generally small and easy to lose. In fact, I have no idea where the hell my staple removers are right now. That’s right. Removers. Plural, bitches. Maybe if we had learned about something like the Stationoli earlier, we wouldn’t be in the pickle we are now, with many staples in need of removing. The Stationoli provides a way to keep all of your stationary together as one unit.

Stationoli includes a stapler, a staple remover, sticky notes, a paper clip holder, a calculator, pencil sharpener, and of course…an alarm clock? Okay, that one doesn’t make to much sense since we’re pretty sure most people don’t sleep with their stationary. Though, Stationoli seems like a cool gizmo to have around. Especially during tax season. Available now for $40. — Andrew Dobrow

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We’ve seen some useless USB hubs in our day, but this just takes the cake whole bakery. The USB Tape Dispenser is, well, a Tape Dispenser with a few extra USB ports added on. Just wait until poor, old Milton from Office Space gets his hands on this. He’ll forget all about his stapler.

The USB Tape Dispenser comes with one port on front and three on the back, and should be a real thrill to all tape dispenser nuts out there. All three of you. Available now for $24.98 + shipping, handling, and complete and utter lack of pride. — Andrew Dobrow

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