Gearfuse

I’m sort of worried that if I invest so much money in a Kindle, I’m going to have some serious tactile and olfactory withdrawal. And I don’t think I’m along. We need to feel the book in our hands and smell the scent that only a newly cracked-open book can emit.

“Smell of Books” aerosol spray allows you to simulate the scent of a real physical book, even if you’re reading an e-book. “Smell of Books” would be available in an assortment of scent variations, including Classic Musty Smell, Crunchy Bacon Scent, Eau You Have Cats, New Book Smell and Scent of Sensibility. Suggested retail price? Varies between $4.99 and $28.99 depending on the scent. (We’re almost positive this is a joke. But hell, people would buy it!)

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This skin spraying gun makes you feel like you’re Wolverine. Stem-cell infused skin is discharged from the nozzle onto a wound to expedite the healing process to just hours. Alright, so it’s not quite Wolverine’s mutant healing powers, it’s still better than your natural tissue regeneration, pussy. This is not to be confused with the spray on condom.

$250 million has been invested into researching advancements in healing techniques like the spray skin. The days of laying in your bed until your wounds are completely healed are coming to an end.

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How is a guy honestly supposed to know that what he’s got packin’ beneath his loin cloth will fit in a Trojan Magnum? There’s no size declared on the box. These companies leave you to trial-and-error until you find the perfect fit. Well that isn’t the case anymore.  Scientists from Condom Consultancy in Germany have invented a revolutionary spray on condom that pumps liquid latex onto your cock and then dries within 20-25 seconds to become a condom.

They hope to cut the solidifying time down by 10 seconds because after 20-25 seconds of you staring down at your own penis, waiting for the condom to form, you’re bound to lose your edge.  See what even the faintest of distractions can do to a man, even in the heat of passion?
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