Today, Intel launched its first ever six-core processor: the Xeon 7400. While the name might not be as complex as the name Sony is giving to their new line of laptops, it certainly should be. Everything about this processor is “no joke” as it is geared towards high-end computing, like those used by the scientists working on the Large Hadron Collider.

An estimated 50-percent speed boost over its predecessor is possible as this processor peaks around 2.66GHz with 130W of power.  The new Xeons are going to be the last of their kind before Intel makes the jump to the new Core i7 architecture. Things are certainly looking fast for the computing world.

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Since the days of The Jetsons and even long before that, mankind has dreamed of a fully operational hybrid flying car.  What would be better than being able to go airborne as soon as you hit some traffic? Moller International, the company devoted to making an affordable flying car, has announced their latest creation, the Autovolantor.

The flying car, although said to be revolutionary, is only capable of flying for about 15 minutes at up to 150 MPH. It’s fast but what happens when time runs out? You share the same fate as Steve Fossett, that’s what. I can’t see this vehicle becoming a commodity in my lifetime, though one can always dream.

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Brady Clark and Mykle Hansen made this nifty DIY speed vest for bikers that displays a light-up readout of the wearer’s speed. The vest works thanks to an Arduino open source computer, wheel speed sensor, nine-volt battery, and electroluminescent display. Hansen and Clark describe the speed vest as a “bicycle safety device and advocacy tool.” I don’t really see how this vest does all that. It does manage to make the wearer look like a tool though. I can’t imagine anyone actually wearing this, but the work these guys did to make it happen is still very impressive.

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We’ve seen a skateboard mixed with a surfboard today, but how about a skateboard mixed with BMX? The Dirtsurfer Freestyle is just that: it’s got the speed of a freestyle BMX with the agility of a skateboard. Speed is controlled via a brake which is a simple lever-activated disk brake mounted on the rear wheel. Simply lean backwards and you’ll slow the board down.

Unlike a skateboard, the faster you go, the more stable the Dirtsurfer becomes. Slow down too much and, like a bike, you’ll fall on your side. Going off road on your skateboard just isn’t possible but, with the 16″ tires the Dirtsurfer is sporting, you can transverse almost any terrain. For $450, it’s yours. Though you must be warned, injuries caused while riding it are not covered as part of the price tag. So, ride carefully.

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In the future, cars will move very, very fast. It’s a damn shame our puny little minds will never develop the reflexes and reaction time to operate them manually. So instead, we’ll just slap high tech computers to the engines that’ll automatically drive the car at intensely high speeds for us.

This concept design by Iman Maghsoudi is said to be like any other car. The driver will have total control during low speed travels but once you make the jump to high speeds, the computer takes over and you’ll be off talking on your Ferrari phone without any need to mind the road. We already have the strange looking car designs, now who’s going to design the computer that drives them?

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I never really thought about implementing an idea like this but thankfully, Speedo and iRiver have already done the hard work for us. The Aquabeat Waterproof MP3 player has both an appropriate name and look. It can go up to three meters underwater and has a mind-blowing 1GB of storage. Then again, how much music are you gonna need underwater?

With everything being waterproof, I tried to think of how you could possibly use this thing while swimming in the ocean. Then it hit me that this is the perfect MP3 player for your boat or jet ski unless you have an Otter Box or something similar. Oh, and it floats like a turd in case you lose it. Seems like a sure win for $145.

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There are few things we love more in this world than Star Wars. But, if we were forced to choose one, it’d have to be baked sweets. So, instead of finding something greater than Star Wars, why not get the best of both worlds? Star Wars-themed baked sweets, such as these highly-detailed Yoda and Millennium Falcon cakes, are about as delicious looking as baked goods can get.

With the wisdom of Yoda and the speed of the Millennium Falcon, don’t count on out running any imperial star cruisers. No, not until you’ve had your cake and ate it too - forget it. What a shit joke.

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Reviving WiFi isn’t the only new thing Philadelphia is doing. As part of a city-wide campaign called “Drive CarePhilly,” which is against aggressive driving in Philadelphia, PA-100 junctions have been painted with fake speed humps. These said speed bumps offer an illusionary appearance of a three-dimensional barrier to any oncoming motorist while in fact the road is completely flat.

This is exactly what drivers need in the city of Philadelphia; additional obstacles to feed their ill-temper. The catch? It only works on a driver one time. I smell accidents coming.
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Since none of us are going to own a really fast car like the Ford GT anytime soon, we might as well settle for something just a tad smaller. This Ford GT R/C car is not only stylish and 1/5th the size of the original; it can also do speeds up to 60 MPH thanks to a 23cc engine that uses an oil-gasoline mixture. If you’re already calling bullshit on the 60 MPH speeds, keep in mind this is a 23cc engine strapped onto a hunk of plastic with wheels. It’s bound to haul ass down your block, regardless of squirrels or toddlers in its way. It’s no NES under the hood, but it’s still juicin’!

Unfortunately, if you’re looking to get your hands on one, you’ll have to wait until May 30th. How the clowns in the above video got one is beyond me, but I think we can all agree that we’re extremely jealous of their new toy.

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