Gearfuse

Even Mario loves making some extra bling bling on the side. And that’s exactly what you get in those secret warp levels in Super Mario Bros. (if you’ve ever seriously played the game you know what I’m talking about). Just take a jump down the right pipe and profit.

These excellent and super stylish Warp Zone socks remind you that there’s always ways to score a little cash on the side, especially when leaping around on platforms in the sewers. According to the product page these socks sold out in a flash (not surprising for only $11.99), but you can check back frequently to see if their back on the shelves.

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OM NOM NOM! I’ll rock these in my Cheeseburger Bed and call it dinner.

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The gang over at Cartoon Network’s Williams Street team has branched out from animation with a new clothing line called Finer Things. Right now, there’s only three Adult Swim-related garments up for grabs but they’re pretty cool. For $75, you can get a pair of preppy golf pants with the Mooninites all over ‘em. There’s also a Robot Chicken hoodie for $50 and $15 ATHF socks. I dig the pants. I might have to throw down the cash for ‘em.

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Gearfuse reader Kenneth Macy sent in his website where he creates unique designs that fit on your feet. It’s called Ashi Dashi and as you can see from some of the examples above, Kenneth is quite the creative guy. I love the socks that make your feet look like a couple of cigarettes and the pencil design is pretty cool as well. You should check out Kenneth’s socks, because combined with that remote-control light dimmer, the ladies will always be begging for more.

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I have no idea why these are called “Socks Anatomy” instead of “Anatomy Socks” but hey, to each his or her own. These are some badass socks though. Designed by Anton Repponen, they resemble bone and muscle tissue from inside your body and should give off a pleasing aesthetic look when you try a pair on. Perfect for Halloween or just freaking people the fuck out.

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Halloween is upon us come the end of the month, folks. I hope you have a hell of a costume ready. I was going to go as Levi Johnston, the self-proclaimed “fuckin redneck” that knocked up Bristol Palin, Sarah Palin’s daughter. That fell through so I might just go as a skeleton. I’ll already have the one up on the ladies ’cause I snagged a pair of these sweet socks. See? It’s almost as if I’m looking at real skeleton legs!

$20, your pride and your chances of getting laid Halloween night.

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When my lady friend gets home from work and asks me for a foot massage, I initially don’t have a problem. Then the time comes when she lays her smelly, dirty feet across my lap, with a face of self-knowing, at which point I tell her to get her dirty appendages into the shower. I think for her birthday this year I’ll pick her up a pair of these Akaishi Foot Massager Socks.

The fleece shots press into your feet at key pressure point locations to “help encourage the flow of energy through the body and the elimination of lactic acid crystals accumulated in tired feet”. We don’t know about all of that energy mumbo-jumbo, but we do know that not only do these socks massage, but they also offer arch support for flat feet. — Andrew Dobrow

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