I’ve always wanted my face printed right on the end of my rubber love glove. Unfortunately, I’ll have to wait until that dream becomes reality. On the other hand, getting a hold of custom FDA approved, lubricated condoms with my face printed on the wrapper is a possible alternative.

“MyFace Condoms” allow you to include your name, picture, a special message or anything else you choose right on the wrapper of your very own cock sock. When you pull it out of your wallet in front of your soon-to-be-banged one night stand, she’ll know you mean business. You never looked much like the Trojan guy, anyway. You can get a pack for yourself at $31.25 for a 25 pack. Remember kids, always bag it up.

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Not since the days of Sifl and Olly on MTV have I seen sock puppets singing. If Matt Irvine Brown gets his way though, he’ll have a choir of these singing socks howling at me on a bad night. Each puppet has built-in sensors that measure how far open the puppet’s mouth is. You can make the puppet sing higher and higher on a scale or go real low to make smooth love like Barry White. He can also be hooked up to Ableton Live or your favorite MIDI software as a controller.

Ridiculous looking? Absolutely. Sings out of key? Check. Entertains children, thus making it a cash crop? Oh yes.

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