Check this bag design out. See anything wrong with it? Of course you don’t, it looks too hip to have you distracted by flawed design. It’s called Double Bag and the name matches the look. The look being a post-pubescent scrotum after taking a hit from a fastball thrown by Walter Johnson. It reminds me of those portable crutches except without the blue balls.

It’s designed to carry your daily ham and cheese lunch meal with an extra spot for your water bottle conveniently co-joined with the rest of the bag. Yea, the bag hangs over your shoulder like a traditional purse but why in the heck does it need to link up with the other side or be able to break away at all? Sacrificing bag space for nothing more than a K’Nex piece doesn’t seem very ergonomic. You’d be better off with a Mooncloth bag. You can hold more with it and look just as queer.

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Obesity has become a epidemic in many of the world’s leading countries. That’s right, our dogs are huge! Our “time is money” culture gives us very little time to spend giving our pets the proper exercise they need. The Hyperdog Ball Launcher makes sure that your pets’ balls travel to a far distance (giggle). Providing your pet with a further distance to fetch.

The Ball Launcher can sling tennis balls up to 200 feet, about 2/3 the length of a football field. This will ensure your dog either loses weight, or collapses from exhaustion. The sling is made of high quality surgical tubing. Durable enough to last a lifetime (at least your dog’s lifetime). The Launcher comes with 2 tennis balls, just in case one is to roll into a sewer or if one just becomes too covered in slobber to use without vomiting. Available for $30. — Andrew Dobrow

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