Gearfuse

Back in July, I briefly mentioned a beer pong raft that ruins the fundamental experience that is the game of beer pong. Well, the creators behind the Port-O-Pong weren’t too pleased about that, so they sent us one. Needless to say, my face lit up when it arrived at my doorstep. The advertisers claim it can be played “anywhere on anything,” so I immediately had to put it to the test. I met up with Vince in Margate, New Jersey and we decided that the ocean would be an ideal locale for our next beer pong match. Let the games begin!
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Oh shit, get on those pro flip cup gloves, we got ourselves a game of beer pong that isn’t all fun and games on your Nintendo Wii. It’s Port-O-Pong, the amphibious portable beer pong table.

OK, so it’s just a fucking raft with some grooves for the cups that completely eliminate the chances of cups toppling over from a fast ball throw. Half of beer pong is trying to knock your opponents cups over so they’re force to lick the beer off the table. It sucks for the suckers, but hey, it’s house rules. For $54.95, buy a rickety wooden table and some plastic cups instead of this spill-proof raft that ruins beer pong altogether. Seriously what is a beer pong match without beer spilling everywhere? Leisurely drinking, that’s what.

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