TAG RESULTS FOR: sick

INFLU Flu-Collector Mask Encourages H1N1 Infection

Contracting the H1N1 swine flu virus seems inevitable. I’m not one to play God, but I like to be in control of all situations. In other words, I’d rather infect myself with the swine flu and know when I’m going to be infected than have the virus spring up on me unawares. The INFLU Mask increases the chance of getting the flu by several hundred percent. The INFLU flu collector mask has a battery driven micro-fan fitted on the inhalation... Continue reading

Remote-Controlled Tissue Box Brings The Kleenex to the Nose, Not the Other Way Around

When your sick, the last thing you wanna do is get out of bed and go chasing your tissue box, which is exactly what you might have to do if you’re unlucky enough to have a sibling or spouse cruel enough to use this Remote-Controlled Tissue Box to lure you around the house like a beggar following a dollar bill on a string. Then again, you have to admit, it would be fun to be in the drivers seat in... Continue reading

18-year-old Responsible For False Jobs Rumor

Steve Jobs is dead. Steve Jobs is not dead. Steve Jobs is sick. Steve Jobs is not sick. I’m sick of this shit. Clearly, Steve Jobs is immortal and all this news of his demise is a load of cow dung. Who makes this crap up anyway? The SEC tracked down the little bastard responsible, who just so happens to be an 18-year-old kid with nothing better to do. Blogger and dickhead “Johntw” wrote: “I have an insider who tells... Continue reading