Gearfuse

When your sick, the last thing you wanna do is get out of bed and go chasing your tissue box, which is exactly what you might have to do if you’re unlucky enough to have a sibling or spouse cruel enough to use this Remote-Controlled Tissue Box to lure you around the house like a beggar following a dollar bill on a string.

Then again, you have to admit, it would be fun to be in the drivers seat in that situation. And your brother thought it was funny always stealing your Halloween candy. No trick or treating for you this year, sicko.

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Steve Jobs is dead. Steve Jobs is not dead. Steve Jobs is sick. Steve Jobs is not sick. I’m sick of this shit.

Clearly, Steve Jobs is immortal and all this news of his demise is a load of cow dung. Who makes this crap up anyway? The SEC tracked down the little bastard responsible, who just so happens to be an 18-year-old kid with nothing better to do.

Blogger and dickhead “Johntw” wrote:

“I have an insider who tells me that paramedics were called after Steve claimed to be suffering from severe chest pains and shortness of breath,” the author wrote. “My source has opted to remain anonymous, but he is quite reliable.”

Quite reliable for a source that never existed, don’t you think? Will we ever see these fabrications of poor Jobs’ put to an end? So long as he’s the anchor holding Apple’s stock, you can expect more of these falsehoods to make an appearance. Good thing Steve Jobs is immortal.

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