Knife Proof T-Shirt Oddly Not Equally Nipple Proof

Filed under: Misc. Gadgets, Wearables

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The Nihon Uni company, a uniform producer in Chuo Ward, Osaka, has developed a meshy t-shirt that is said to be knife-proof, and could save many from suffering being stabbed or shanked. The strength of the ultrahigh molecular weight polyethylene fiber material used to create this shirt can be compared to the material used in aramid fiber body armor. It certainly beats wearing armor made of CDs.

Conveniently machine-washable, Momma won’t have any trouble cleaning out the blood stains from this shirt, not saying there would be any, because it’s knife proof and everything. Just to point something out, the model wearing the T-shirt must have some seriously diamond grade bio-engineered nips, because those things look just about ready to slice through the fabric, unless it’s an optical illusion or some severe wishful thinking. — Andrew Dobrow

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The Six-Fingered Man Is In Deep Shit Now

Filed under: Wearables

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If the recent Fake Steve Jobs mock turtleneck wasn’t enough to get you all hot and bothered, maybe a Princess Bride reference will be more fitting? Using the classic line from the movie as a design point, this shirt has a fake name tag which says “Hello, My Name Is Inigo Montoya. You killed my father. Prepare to die.”

So for real, go save Princess Buttercup, find yourself an ex-wrestler / unemployed giant from Greenland, and track down that six-fingered man. We keep saying those words. We don’t think it means what we think it means. — Andrew Dobrow

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