What’s surely to provide hours of lolz and orgasms, the Accidental Video Game Porn Archive collects the best of sexually suggestive video game model posing in one place.
Don’t worry kids, there’s plenty of zombie on zombie action. Check out a few more favorites after the jump.
The day you’ve been dreading has finally arrived. Criagslist has announced that they will be removing the free-wheeling “erotic” services section of their site and will replace it with an “adult” section. Every post in the adult section will be hand moderated.
Apparently taming the shrew just wasn’t enough. WHYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYY?!!!
Here’s a story for all of you robosexuals. Apparently, the Japanese thought it would be a good idea to program a giant horny robot to feel simulations of human emotion, such as love, and as we now can see, evil sin and perversion. This love-bot had the gall to trap an innocent women, who just happened to be “testing [the bot's] systems and loading new software routines,” several hours a day, if you know what I mean, *wink* *wink*, but no really, she’s just some programming intern, and forced her to give him multiple hugs and orgasms.
When the Japanese installed the software which allowed the robot to feel pure and unadulterated monkey lust, apparently they forgot to add the coding which translates to “no means no.” I mean, how do these things work? Do they have a rape on/off switch or what? Would you make consensual love with a rapist robot?
Ladies! Do you love to munch rug? Find pleasure in shoving a cucumber in your vagina or anus? Excellent. Pay attention.
After awhile, you’ll most likely have built up an impressive collection of sex toys that rivals that of Star Jones’. Do yourself, your husband and the environment a favor and dispose of these toys properly. Instead of throwing it out and leaving it for Ted the Garbageman to find, use this official Sex Toy Recycling Program. Send ‘em a box of dildos and you’ll get a $10 credit towards a new one from their online store. Not a bad deal, right? This company will even clean and dismantle your vibrators and dildos to ensure they’re disposed of properly.
You know what would be the best thing ever? Virtual sex. So long as “virtual sex” means sex with Sandra Bullock in virtual reality. None of that rubber vagina crap. We’ll put on the headsets, visors or whatever didgeridoos are used on the movie set of Demolition Man and go at it. Except, we won’t get physical. Fluid transfer is gross.
Now, if “virtual sex” means devices like the RealTouch, forget it. I’d rather get shot up by Wesley Snipes after finishing a gordita at Taco Bell.
I know college can be expensive but this story is ridiculous. 22-year-old Natalie Dylan needs money to pay for graduate school but doesn’t feel like working an honest job to obtain it. Instead, after learning that her sister had made mucho bucks from being a prostitute for three weeks, she decided to auction off her virginity to pay for her tuition. Classy, right? Apparently. Natalie’s bidding has gone up to $3.2 million, as it seems rich businessmen are doing anything for some vagina nowadays. After all, sex sells.
Don’t feel bad, either. Natalie says she isn’t being taken advantage of, but rather is just doing some study that helps “empower” her or some other lingo bullshit. Anyways, if you want her V-Card, you better get on it and take out a second mortgage.
Late night. Your girl is over. You’ve made it to first base and it’s been wonderful watching Wild Things but now you need to step it up. Grab the gel remote your cousin at Panasonic R&D sent you. Pause the movie right when Denise Richards is getting naked and look your babe right in the eye.
Take the remote, slip it in and you’re an all-star now, kid.
Listen, this is my room. Which means: if it’s rockin’, don’t come knockin’. Yamaha’s soundproof enclosure, the My Room II, is the ideal solution for noisy surroundings when work has to get done. And by work I mean hot wild sex. No sir, no external distractions here. I’m just banging away in the My Room II, praying that I don’t cause this thing to fall over.
Did I mention how comfortable this room is? For $6,500, it better be because I can’t imagine getting laid in any confined spaces for a cheaper price. A dark alleyway? Maybe. The features the My Room II has over it’s 2004 predecessor, the My Room, impresses me – and my partner. A touch-panel control, air conditioner mounting and reduced construction time makes the My Room II the exemplary locale for a quickie.
Looking at pictures of hot naked women is one of my favorite things to do with the internet. That’s why I’m so excited to finally see the technology for online porn evolving to include 3D pictures.
Nude3D is a site I stumbled across (while doing important serious research of course) that has three-dimensional pictures of sexy nude models. It’s totally free and they also give you directions for uploading your own homemade 3D porn pics.
According to Nudes3D’s guide, three-dimensional internet porn can be made using two digital cameras and StereoPhoto Maker. Apparently, other sites also host 3D internet porn. I can’t believe I didn’t find out about this amazing innovation sooner. To think of all the time I could have been spending staring at 3D hotties instead of doing other stuff. It’s a shame.
After the jump, check out some choice samples from the Nudes3D porno library. Obviously, these pictures are extremely NSFW, so continue reading at your own risk.
For those not familiar with Marc Owens’ work, he’s the man behind the Avatar Machine. It’s a suit which allows the user to view themselves as a virtual character in real space via a head mounted interface. Now he’s working on another suit that’s sure to turn heads. According to a study that found that 54 percent of all males and 68 percent of all females gender swap in a virtual setting, psychologists have proven that the majority of people aren’t satisfied with their gender and want to cut their genitals out.
Thankfully, Marc Owens has the cure. If you’re the kind of guy that feels comfortable dressing up in your mother’s clothes or the kind of girl whose always wanted to play QB on the high school football team then the Virtual Transgender Suit was made for you. It replicates the aesthetics of the typical virtual female form while portraying it in physical form, kind of like if you were to act out Facebook in a real life setting. So, if cross dressing just seems a little too gay for you, how about trying out the Virtual Transgender Suit? You’ll look like a woman but no one will criticize you because you’ll look like a virtual woman.
