Tis the season to rip a gourd from the garden and whip out the ole carving knife. Try to stretch your mouth around this pumpkin carving. My favorite part has to be the pumpkin seeds replacing the sesame seeds.
While this might not be a “traditional” pumpkin carving, I think the finished result is even cooler, and certainly more appetizing, than some boring jack-o-lantern face.
Birds are classy. They deserve to be treated like royalty as they run a muck in our neighborhoods, waking us up with annoying chirps and shitting all over our cars immediately after they’ve been washed.
Etsy seller Ohthepollybilities makes these quaint teacup bird-feeders with an ordinary China teacup and some well-placed chain links. The seller describes its possibilities as “endless” but I see little productivity in this teacup for anything other than a bird feeder. It could be hung by a sink to hold sponges, or hung in your bathroom to hold your assortment of toiletry, but who the fuck are you, Martha Stewart? They’re are available for $20, a small price to pay for birds in your yard, chirping your name in the morning.
Smoking cigarettes can be terrible for your health. So if you’re going to pull a Steve McQueen and catch a cigarette outside on your lunch break, why not do a little good for the planet at the same time? Carry around one of these Matchstick Gardens with you and whenever you light up, stick one of the “matches” in the ground. Embedded with seeds, you’ll soon find a plant (perhaps a Pixel Posey?) or herb of some sort sprouting up eventually.
A bunch of different versions are offered, including “Italian Garden,” which I assume is full of pizza plants and pasta trees. Pick a book of these matches up and get laid come next Earth Day.
