As a pizza lover and eater, I’m always looking for a way to cut a slice from an uncut pie without fucking it all up. Usually, I take a steak knife and end up cutting half the cheese off while destroying the inner-section of the pie. If I had the Pizza Pro, this never would have happened.

If you’re wondering what the Pizza Pro is, I’d be glad to fill you in. It’s a spatula-type instrument with a gigantic pair of scissors attached to the side. The best feature is that you can you do all of this insane pizza serving with one hand. Remember, winners don’t use drugs and italians don’t cook without a Pizza Pro. Something like that.

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When you invent a time machine in the year 2094 and travel back to the year 1990, the first thing you’ll want to do is attend the premiere of the Tim Burton classic, Edward Scissorhands. You’ll be able to catch a pre-Pirates Depp and Winona Ryder right as she was turning into a hottie. But more importantly, you’ll be able to wear these out in style.

Designed by Georgo Phillip Pecenikov, these cufflinks are articulated scissors that don’t just sit still and look pretty, they actually open and close. Silver cufflinks plated in rhodium that are shaped like a bent pair of scissors don’t come cheap though. $550 or your soul.

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I know, it’s a little late to be telling you now, but hey, you should get your mother the Momergency Kit for Mother’s Day. It comes with tools for Mom to help keep her sane, and to keep kids busy. Here’s a selection of what it includes followed by a brief explanation on what we think they could be used for:

• A balloon (for strangling herself with)
• Scissors (for gouging out her eyes and slitting her wrists)
• A bandage (for covering the wrist wound)
• Dice (to earn some money in the crack house while you sit and cry)
• Needle and thread (to sew your mouth shut)

There’s more included, but from the looks of it, she’ll only get this far before being arrested. Available now for $25. — Andrew Dobrow
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Most households have at least one or two defunct broken down keyboards laying around. How about a productive use for that junk? Check out this cool wallet made from the innards of a computer keyboard. All you have to do with find a keyboard buried with the rest of your junk and follow the easy instructions. You’ll also need a screwdriver, a cutting board, a razor knife, scissors, and packing tape. And if you can’t find a useful purpose for it, there’s always eBay. — Andrew Dobrow

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For some reason, some people (including me) have never learned how to master the art of cutting a straight line with scissors. Hand eye co-ordination has a way of deluding us the pleasure of a crisp straight cut. This simple gadget makes our linear instabilities easier to refine using a laser which projects a straight line onto the paper you are cutting. Just let the laser be your guide.

Some people might look at these scissors and not see the point. But for those who have been plagued throughout their childhood with the embarrassment of a jagged paper cut out, the laser will be worth every penny. How many pennies will it cost? 2000 ($20). — Andrew Dobrow

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The good thing about using electric hair trimmers over traditional scissors would be speed, the problem is the edge is usually unnaturally smooth, giving you the Gwen Stefani mushroom-look. So most people, invariably would need a combination of both: a pair of convex-edged scissors as well as the electrical shaver. Matsushita (National branded) has ended this hassle today with their new electric hair trimmer (or personal groomer, as they call it), what it does is that the blade randomly selects the fine threads of hair to cut, and leaving some untouched, simulating how the barber clutch a bit of your hair and cut it with the convex-edged scissors. The trimmer is also waterproof, so you can flush it under the tap. There’s also a style-guide that comes with the kit, should you pick it up in Japan in March, for $80. — Sam Chan

Matsushita National ER5209 hair groomer [Impress]