Gearfuse

I need some sort of carb with every meal, which probably explains why I’m overweight. If I’m eating meat, you best believe it’s going to be wrapped between two hunks of bread. But here’s my dilemma. Some people don’t understand my need for carb goodness. Some of my friends are so gung-ho about carbs that they don’t even own any bread products. That’s just not working for me.

That’s why whenever I go to my carb-hating friend’s place I know need to slip on my Bread Slippers. No offerings of sweet, beautiful carbs? Just rip a hunk off of your footwear. Mmm, mmm, filling.

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Made using cubed pastrami, kielbasa, pork fat, salami, and two types of cheddar cheese, this Rubik’s Cubewich is one of the most delightfully geeky sandwiches I’ve ever seen.

Something about this sandwich screams gas city, but it’d be so worth it. I’d just have issues taking a bite out of the damn thing. It’s too pretty.

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Us men need us our sammichs. Digital or tactile, we love our pieces of bread to be packed full of meaty goodness. A properly made sandwich is enough to make most of us drool with anticipation. That’s exactly why Scanwiches is such a dirty tease.

Scanwiches is a nifty little blog which posts high-res images of cross-cut sandwiches. While you are free to admire the site all you want, we recommend a napkin tucked into your shirt and some kind of protective material over your keyboard. And if you love sandwiches as much as we do, drool won’t be the only bodily fluid risking your keyboard’s proper functionality. (We’re talking about sweat you pervert. Stop thinking about my penis.)

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Seeing this crocheted sandwich makes me hungry for a hoagie. Etsy seller Candypop Creations is crazy for crocheting and it shows with this foot long sandwich I’m just dying to sink my teeth in to. All I’d get is a mouthful of yarn, but with a vivid imagination that yarn could taste like my favorite sandwich from DiVellos Deli. What the hell is that black thing with the multi-colored dots? It looks like a burn Keebler M&M cookie.

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Super kudos to whoever came up with this slick idea. Don’t want some hungry motherfucker eating your delicious McChicken? Grab some of these anti-theft lunch bags that have green blotches printed on both sides. This way, everyone will assume your lunch has gone spoiled. Boo yah! You could probably make your own with a non-toxic paint or coloring of some sort. Give it a try!

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Toasted bread is the way to go but sometimes I’m in the mood to toast an entire sandwich. Pork roll, egg and cheese on sliced Rick Astley bread can get a little sloppy when you try to cram it into a toaster. I’m not talking about those awkward toasters either, I mean your basic, run of the mill toaster.

That’s exactly why the toaster bags were invented, it gives you the ability to toast your sandwiches like Subway so you can be just as much of a lard-ass as Jared was before he started actually working out. It’s called the Toastabag and for just $18.95 you get two reusable bags that’ll toast anything you shove in them. Or you could try aluminum foil. I’ve done it and it (sorta) works.

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Continuing the series of edible phones, the Sandwich Phone is part carb-filled lunch, half telecommunications. Pull the pieces of bread apart and one of the slices acts as a receiver, the other as the keypad. (more…)