Gearfuse

Oh, Microsoft. You love to just fuck things up royally, don’t you? You almost have a certain knack for it it seems. This time around, Microsoft is now declaring that it will no longer pay for shipping on broken Xbox 360 units. Says Consumerist reader Zach:

“My Xbox red-ringed for the second time this weekend. Which is almost a relief after hearing how bad my disc drive was sounding, but not so much after hearing the new policy. I was told that Xbox no longer ships out a box to you and you must find a box to ship it out in. Yeah I guess its not a big deal, but I think it gives them another thing to hold over your head; “We are sorry, Sir, but you didn’t back it well enough and it appears the damage was due to shipping, we cannot help you.”

See? Fucking the customer squarely in the ass once again. Get a goddamned clue, will you already, Microsoft? I’m so sick of writing about how you constantly subject the public to pain and terrible excuses. It’ll come back to haunt you fuckers one day, I’m sure of it.

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Steve Jobs is a lot like a teenage girl. He is all about the outfits, obsesses about his foes and is dealing with hormone issues. Wait, what? That’s right. The Wall Street Journal posted this excerpt of a statement from Steve Jobs:

…my doctors think they have found the cause — a hormone imbalance that has been “robbing” me of the proteins my body needs to be healthy. … The remedy for this nutritional problem is relatively simple and straightforward, and I’ve already begun treatment.

Losing protein doesn’t sound very healthy, but really Steve? Hormones? Perhaps I should get you a stick of Proactiv for your acne and a book on wet dreams or “nocturnal emissions.” It seems that all the Apple rumors about Steve Jobs dying, etc. can be laid to rest…for now.

UPDATE: Steve Jobs’ letter from Apple.

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I had to check and make sure the calendar wasn’t nearing April 1st when I first read about Google’s Mail Goggles. It seems like such a silly idea that I figured someone was just messing with me. I seem to be wrong, though. Mail Goggles is a new feature designed to keep you from sending emails in a drunken state of anger. When you enable Mail Goggles, which is only available during late weekend nights, you’ll have to answer a series of simple math problems before you can send your email. It sounds like something out of a sci-fi novel but it’s for real.

This nifty little feature was designed by Google’s Jon Perlow, so if any thanks is due, he deserves it. I like the idea of Mail Goggles due to the fact that I tend to drunk email once in awhile. If only my phone had the same features…

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At long last, Apple has finally equipped some of its developers with the tools needed to begin authoring iPhone background applications. This will eventually remedy problems with the iPhone regarding running applications in the background. The same thing could happen to a drug dealer trying to convert ounces to grams. He/She suddenly gets a phone call then, BAM, all that hard work leaves business dry and sales at a stand still. Apple is fixing this by adding the “Push Notification Service” they mentioned at the WWDC.

AppleInsider writes:

Instead of allowing potentially dozens of third party services to simultaneously access an iPhone directly, the push service would funnel all transmissions from developers’ servers through a central Apple server, which would then relay the data to iPhones through a single persistent and well-managed background connection.

This is the best news on the iPhone we’ve heard all week. Wait a minute, this is the only news on the iPhone we’ve wrote all week. That’s not like us at all. It’s because Vince got that new Sierra Nevada Sidekick, which pretty much renders any other phone pale in comparison.

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