Gearfuse

Within those hours upon hours of playing around with Super Mario Bros. we figured there must have been some sort of life lesson. We convinced our parents that the game was teaching us indispensable hand-eye coordination skills. But there was another hidden message that, unbeknown to us, would teach us all we needed to know for our adult years.

The Money, Power, Woman Mario shirt illustrates just how the progress of life works. Much like the wise-woman Lil’ Kim once said “First you get the muthafuckin’ money, then you get the mothafuckin’ powah.” Now, third, she said you get respect. But screw respect. We want some poon-tang.

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Us gearheads are admittedly not the best housekeepers in the universe (at least this universe). Our brain is filled with so many other thoughts and ideas, how can we possible make space to remember our daily chores? And don’t give me that chore chart crap. That shit is for the birds.

The Brook Surge Protector not only powers four different gadgets, but offers a healthy reminder that your filth isn’t cleaning itself. The power switch for the multitap itself sits illuminated near the top of the broom’s handle.

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So this isn’t really anything extravagant, but sometimes the best gadgets are the ones that operate in a simple fashion. This AM/FM radio has a bit of a DIY look with the old-school silver button on the top and the solar panel feeding it energy. There’s also a hand crank in case you live in Seattle or Alaska. It can’t do anything special, it just cranks out some classic tunes from the radio. Perfect for listening to WHYY whilst working at your desk. At $25, it’s a nice little bargain and a fantastic gift idea.

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Even if you turn your computer and electronics off, they still suck power from your outlets. This is known as vampire energy and it can really add to your electric bill if you’re like us and own a lot of consumer electronics. For $100-130, this power strip from Monster lets you tap a button to switch it into sleep mode. A test was done with 200W worth of equipment. After hitting sleep, the outlets only drew a combined total of 6 watts. Impressive. The GreenPower Center might be on the expensive side for a power strip, but it could save you some serious bucks, essentially paying for itself.

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One of the most dangerous things you do on a daily basis (besides drive your automobile) is fiddle with the power cords of home appliances. You never know when pulling that cord will result in a tear and a powerful shock that you’ll certainly remember. Good thing designer Kim Seung Woo has redesigned the standard power cord with a glow-in-the-dark ring. And no, this hole is not for fucking.

The ring makes finding the socket and unplugging the cords, day or night, an easier task than ever before. No more deadly volts coursing through your body, sir!

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This adorable solar toy is bound to entertain you for — an hour, tops. Still, it’s a neat little gizmo you purchase for 20 dollars and build yourself. It’s a solar powered monkey which climbs to its plastic heart’s content.

When the monkey is placed in sunlight it’ll derive power from the sun enabling it to climb the rope, hand over hand! It’s also another cheap and easy way out of a science fair project with your kid.

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Either we can sit around cracking jokes about how this speaker looks like a certain phallic object or we can get on to the specs like professional adults. You’d rather crack dick jokes? OK, I’ll wait.

Good. Now that you’re done, let me give you the 411 on this speaker. It’s called the Spring Speaker and it has a whopping 4 watts of power. Before you get all disappointed, let me tell you about how you can charge this fucker via USB for up to four hours of playback time. Not too shabby, eh? Right. It comes with a headphone jack and a USB jack to ensure complete connectivity.

Back to your penis jokes, folks. Nothing to see here.

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Here’s another way to clean up that cluttered mess of cords by your power outlet: outlet covers with deer antlers on them for holding gadgets while they charge. They can also be used like the ninja cord bunny and wrap up any loose wire laying around the floor. You could even go the extra mile and hang up your house keys.

If you’re feeling extra daring, you could also use the antlers as holders for your silverware. You’re just asking someone to get shocked, but think about the convenience of a fork on every socket in your household. It’d make eating ramen noodles a breeze anytime, anywhere!

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Still have one of the classic, retro Game Boy units hanging around? Here’s an extremely easy mod that will not only help you get more battery life but will also help illuminate the screen better. Just replace the internal lightbulb inside the Game Boy with an ultra bright white LED. Close it all up and you’ve just completed your mod. Much easier than the original Metroid, that’s for sure.

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Look at all of the nasty things going on in this apartment. Shitting, fucking, killing, stealing and even tripping are revealed when this magic apartment light is lit up. With the lights off, this house looks like nothing out of the ordinary, but flip the switch and you’re in for a big surprise. The things people do when I’m not around is frightening.

This wild lamp goes for $38.50 and if you’re in the States you’ll need a voltage converter to get it running. It’ll be worth it though, considering this thing has the uncanny ability to scare off guests lacking a sense of humor.

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