Gearfuse

While the little things, such as ice cubes rubbing against my lips and under my nose, aren’t too much of an annoyance to me, there are times, on the hottest of days, when the sweat is just pouring from every pour in my body, those dog days of August, where everything is an earth shattering pain in the asshole. It’s the reason I occasionally opt-out of ice if the drink as been in the fridge for a bit. That, and that weird icy taste caused after the ice melts. IceBlok ends all of that jazz. The ice will stay exactly where it’s supposed to be.

No more chapped mustache for me.

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Now you can complete that dream picnic you’ve always wanted with your very own inflatable salad bar. Blow it up, throw some ice in it and you’re set to keep your veggies cold while you and your friends get wasted and stumble around on your lawn. It’s only $30 and doubles as a flotation device/sperm catcher.

You call it an inflatable salad bar. I call it an inflatable raft glued to a table.

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Grab your baskets, cooler, and your favorite lady, and take a stroll out to the park because picnic planning just got a lot easier. The Spontaneous Picnic Dress doubles as a faux-retro fashion statement for your girl, while offering a place to lounge, eat, and possibly even mix up some drinks if the picnic spirit chooses you for its outdoor eating agenda. Remember to watch out for that meddling Yogi Bear.

Made using 3 food related fabrics (although the dress most likely doesn’t taste very good), the “Buttercup” dress is great for a Spring venture to your favorite picnicking spot. Oh, and not to mention easy access to the va-jay-jay for a little post-lunch fornication. — Andrew Dobrow

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