If your dog suddenly starts showing up at home smelling of cigar smoke and brandy, it might be using one of these Mustache Chew Toys. When bitten just right, it makes your dog look like a dignified British diplomat. Hilarity ensues.
Apparently, symptoms also include a slight brown discoloration of a nipple or two. Seriously, what the hell is with that. You’d think they’d screen these models.
If you’re a double amputee, congratulations, you get a free pass. No fetch playing for you. But if you’re a pet owner lucky enough to own two or even one functioning arm their is absolutely no reason to own this Dog Ball Fetch Machine unless you’re extremely lazy or if you want to offer your dog constant, albeit tedious, entertainment.
Long after you become tired, the fetching machine will keep your dog busy, catapulting tennis balls between 15 and 30 feet, based on an interval you set. As long as your dog knows how to dump the ball back into the machine, the fun can continue indefinitely, or at least until your dog collapses from exhaustion.
Are you a fan of Harry Potter or do you just have a really freaky bestiality fantasy? Both fanboys, disturbed and literary, should be satisfied with this photo of a dog wearing a three-headed costume, akin to Hagrid’s very own Fluffy from the Harry Potter series.
Attached to a harness, this costume actually seems less tortuous than other forms of animal-wear. There’s not much detail of where you can actually purchase such a costume or how-to make your own, but left to your own devices, I’m sure you’ll be fine if you put your mind to it.
You will sit or I will MAKE you sit. We clear, Skippy?
Because teaching your old dog new tricks is so much easier with a little threatening coercion. “Not gonna heel, huh? Don’t make me get Michael Vick on your ass.” Don’t forget to hold hands and make up afterward. The dog won’t fight for you sit on your lap quietly if it fears doesn’t respect you.
I love handling dog feces just as much as the next guy, but it’s the smell I can’t stand. Using my hands, the smell gets a little to close to my nostrils for comfort. The Shoe Shovel eliminates any hand-to-dog-feces contact, leaving you, if all works out, relatively scentless.
I know, I know, there’s nothing quite as fulfilling as holding a warm lump of dog shit in your plastic covered hand, but trust me, this will save you some work. Check out the video demonstration, complete with chocolate fecal models, after the jump.
Sorta gross? Depends. Cruel and unusual? Perhaps. Less contact with dog shit for us? Totally.
The PooTrap is a bag that straps on to your dog’s ass with a harness, eagerly awaiting Fido’s fecal evacuation. There are worse things you can do (sorry for stealing your line, Riz). Think about it. If your dog is willing to eat their own crap, this won’t bother them too much. It’s just sort of awkward walking with a bag hanging between your legs. Just ask my grandpa.
The novelty of having a PetEgo Pet / Laptop Backpack hybrid might wear off soon after you realize your beloved pooch has been charred by your recently charged notebook. The Asians love it, but for Westerners? Not so much.
But as long as their is a generous amount of padding between the two, this is actually a really neat idea. I’m kind of sick of carrying around my dog in a purse anyway. You can only look so manly walking around with a Yorkie Poo in a purse. Even if you ARE wearing a cowboy hat.
Washing your dog is probably a pain in the ass, especially if your mutt is a prissy little thing. Stop taking your dog’s shit and the next time they’re due for a cleaning, hit up your local Dog-O-Matic. Created by some silly francophone named Romain Jerry, this machine takes your pooch and washes it over a brief period of time – about 5 minutes. When its done, your dog hops out and you dry the fucker off. A godsend for you, a journey to the end of the universe and back for man’s best friend.
Your pet eats its emotions. That much is clear. What sort of pet needs to use a Buddha Bed as their sleeping cushion? Pet obesity is serious business. I’d like to talk to you about your fat pet for a moment. Please, avert your pet’s eyes away from the screen for a few moments.
It’s probably not your fault. Who knows? Maybe Fluffy let herself go after that Great Dane left her for a younger (and frankly, hotter) Poodle. I don’t know, I’m not one to judge. But it’s just not a healthy way to live! If you live, or plan on living, in the UK, there happens to be a new gym specifically geared towards your pet’s widening ass. Animal Active plans on conquering the very serious issue of animal obesity before it reaches epidemic levels. By the way, have you heard of Parkour?
Cats are awesome. They kill all the rodents in your backyard, don’t need to be walked and make for a catchy Internet meme. Unfortunately, your feline could make friends with some neighborhood alley cats and before you know it, your crib has become the hot spot to be. Keep unwanted animals out with this RFID-enabled pet flap known as Spimecat.
Spimecat was designed by a veterinarian with one idea in mind: keeping unwanted things out of your house. Your cat receives an RFID implant, eliminating the need for a color, and can then enter your house at will. Don’t want the puss out at night? It’s taken care of. Spimecat can detect light levels and can keep your cat in during the evening. I don’t believe it’s readily available to consumers as of yet, but keep your eyes peeled.
