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TAG RESULTS FOR: penis
A Mouse You Can Make Love To: The G Point Mouse Looks Like The Female Naughty Place
As far as anatomical models go, you don’t see many vagina-themed objects. Sure, you’ve got your male sex toys and your science class anatomically correct scale model, but where are all the vagina-inspired goodies. The ratio between penis and vagina-themed gadgets is unsettling at best and terrifying at worst. I guess vagina’s just aren’t as funny as a huge shaft? Anyway, the G Point Mouse pretty much just looks like a vagina, with the scroll ball and the quick access... Continue reading
Trouser Expander Makes You Look Like a Medium-Sized Dog is Stuffed in Your Pants
Let’s not kid ourselves. There are probably a handful of people in the U.S. with a cock the size of a small child (no not the cock of a small child, a cock the size of a small child) and you’re not one of them. Unless your planning on wearing this thing every single day, I don’t know how much good it’s going to do. But I guess by the time your date is ripping off your pants to see... Continue reading
Nuclear Evolution T-Shirt Proves The Future Will Be Fun
Apparently the nuclear wars of the future will force are penises to evolve into vestigial appendages resembling a foot. Look, when I prayed to wake up with a foot-long in my pants, this wasn’t quite what I meant, dude. Sadly, this fore-telling shirt doesn’t say who’s first to drop the bomb. My money’s on the Polish. Well, that’s not entirely true. First, my money’s on this shirt. $14.95 of it to be exact. Link [via]
Old School Wooden Ruler With Digital Display
People need to measure stuff. There’s no denying that. And to the best of my knowledge, doctors still aren’t removing splinters out of your schlonger for free. So it is with a great relief that the old school wooden ruler has finally wizened up and gotten itself a digital display. Push down on the edge of the device to mark where you want to measure and the ruler’s circuitry does the rest. I hear that rulers are also useful for... Continue reading
Jaws XXX: Man Shark Turns Your Peeper Into a Predator
Vaginas aren’t the only genitals that can grow teeth. Watch out ladies, my penis is very hungry. Hope you’re not bleeding! Sharks can sense that you know. The Man Shark is basically a cock-ring with jagged (albeit, gentle) teeth, creating the illusion of the dreaded cockious sharkus. If you want to scare off almost any girl, this is a perfect way of doing it. Link
You Call Them Soundsuits, I Call Them Fabergé Penises
I’m not going to print designer (and possibly musician?) Nick Cave’s little manifesto on why he created furry penis costumes. That’s between him, god and his altar boy but regardless, some of these designs are pretty unique (read: penis-shaped). As the head of the School of the Art Institute of Chicago, Cave calls his “Soundsuits” wearable costumes that hide every trace of identity. Yes, this is true. Where am I going with this? Nowhere. March 28th, San Francisco – be... Continue reading
Noby Noby Boy
Noby Noby Boy is the latest upcoming title from Katamari Damacy creator Keita Takahashi. It’ll be hitting the Playstation Network in early 2009 and most of us will buy it. Why? You’ll be stretching a colorful rainbow penis around in 3-D space for hours. Twirl it around, make it into a pretzel, whatever. Compete against people online to see who can stretch their penis the longest. Something like that. Either way, 1UP has a hands on preview you’ll want to... Continue reading
Stretch Your Cock Like A Champion
Do you have a small penis? Have you tried every pill known to man that claims to increase male enhancement? Do penis enlargement pumps hurt your manhood? Then you desperately need the PEP (Penis Enlargement Pants). OK, so it’s more like underwear. No matter, because it still claims to increase the size of your genitalia by stretching your wang while you work, play or just lounge around the house. For $110 well spent on underwear that’ll have the ladies gasping... Continue reading
Flying Penis! Duck!
Perhaps the greatest use of a remote controlled device in history: a flying penis flew into the middle of a speech from former chess master and Russian political activist, Garry Kasparov. It seems someone took the time to turn an RC helicopter into a flying cock. After the security guard swatted it to the ground, Kasparov says, “I think we have to be thankful for the opposition’s demonstration of the level of discourse we need to anticipate. Also, apparently most... Continue reading
Contex iCondom Gag Gift About A Year Too Late
Apparently, the iPhone is still fodder for shitty jokes and tasteless products. Case in point: the iCondom. With a box strikingly similar to Apple’s flagship telecommunications device, it’s no humongous 3G iPhone but it’s packed with goodies that are meant to be touched. iMemory, iLight, iTree and iFood are all part of the iCondom package. Allow me to inform you a bit about the iMemory: This condom is made of latex of the special formula which possesses effect of memory.... Continue reading
