I want to know if you’re ready to get EXTREME. That’s right, son. We’re knocking back beers all night and getting coked out of our minds so that when we open this overdue electric bill, it’s intense. But we’re not going to open it with a few chubby fingers and dirty fingernails. No, that would be sacrilegious to an extent.

So forget fingers and let’s take this party to the MAXXX. I have the power of OPENING and the power of CARBON FIBER thanks to Purisme’s latest letter opener. It’s so lightweight, it feels like the sheer power of the alcohol on your breath is slicing deep into the paper. Just don’t go waving it near anyone’s eye or you’re going to end up looking like the Joker.

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Gearfuse reader Simon sent us a link to the “Unique Lizard Ball-Point Pen Hand-Painted Animal Ball Pen Yellow.” Long name aside, we like it. It’s a standard pen, housed inside an incredibly awesome orange lizard. At 9″ long, you can have your girlfriend compare it to your manhood for the sake of shits and giggles. Better get one fast, though. According to the site, only 5 are in stock and who knows when an opportunity like this one may present itself again…

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Unless you’re a giant living inside of a fantasy novel, I highly doubt you’ll be able to fit these over-sized discs into your computer. Part of Thomas Mailaender’s “Items” project, these gigantic storage medias are better fit for dealing blunt force trauma than providing any data usage.

And the madness doesn’t stop at storage. The project also features a massive calculator and a pen the size of a child. While Tolkien might be able to find a use for these objects, maybe as a writing utensil for the mighty Ents, we’ll be left without any luck. (more…)

They say the pen is mightier than the sword. But it would be pretty cool to have a cool knife extension to add on to the pen just in case. These eating utensil extensions for pens allow you to turn any average ballpoint into dining cutlery, or a weapon, depending on if you’re a cup-half-empty sort of guy.

Just imagine. The next time you see a only slightly soiled piece of chicken in someones trash can, you can whip out your pen and eat away. It’s funny how many gadgets can be turned into a hobo joke. — Andrew Dobrow

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No worries. This pen won’t self destruct. Or will it? Mwahaha. The WiFi Detecting Pen features 4 LEDs which show the strength of a WiFi signal within 30 feet. The pen itself runs off of two button cell batteries and will help you find a signal even when you’re deep within a terrorist compound, using your espionage skills against forces of evil.

While it is much more easy to tote around than the WiFi Laptop Case, it’s really a question of what function you’re in need of having. Laptop protection or portability? A shoulder pad or a writing implement? You’re the one with double “0″ status, don’t ask us! (more…)

How do you feel when you need to take a note down, but realize that you left your notepad at home? A pen doesn’t do much without paper. The Memo Pen combines the two into an inseparable hybrid of productivity. The Memo Pen is a standard-sized pen with a 2-foot by 2″ rolled-up piece paper in its tubing which dispenses much like a paper towel dispenser in a public restroom.

One concern is that it might be pretty hard to find refill paper for the Memo Pen. But come on, you can do that yourself for the cost of pennies. Available now for $29.95, which rates high on our over-priced product’s scale. — Andrew Dobrow

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How many times have you wished that those notes you took could be transfered into your computer for editing? Not too many… Well, that might explain why not too many people have caught onto the digital pen idea. Not only is it awkward to hold something of this size and write with it, it is just dumb to spend $150 for something that you routinely lose anyways. So while you could store up to 40 pages of notes (if you can write that much in 8 hours), you probably won’t. Sure, Logitech made their new io2 digital pen set look mighty pretty, it just isn’t worth the $150 they want.  –Nik Gomez

Io2 Digital Pen [via UberGizmo]

This pen is just a hunk of metal alloy molded to look like a pen. Why is this significant? Because it does exactly what a real ink pen does: writes on paper. It doesn’t leave the same type of mark that an ink pen does, this pen’s marks cannot be erased or smudged! At only $30, it’s a bargain, and  the maker rates it at longer than a 25 year life span. A cool little bit of history:

In the Medieval period, artists and scribes often used a metal stylus in order to draw on a specially prepared paper surface. Generally known as Metalpoint, or Silverpoint when the stylus was made of silver, artists such as Leonardo da Vinci, Dürer and Rembrandt all used this technique.

High tech? Maybe it’s more innovative than high tech; it’s making the best use of what we have to do better than current ways. — Nik Gomez

Metal Alloy Pen [via Newlaunches]