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Mother 3 English Patch Available At The End Of The Week

Nintendo screwed over a lot of Earthbound fans by not releasing its sequel, Mother 3, in the states. Despite all the persistence the Earthbound community has demonstrated by forming petitions and massively spamming Nintendo Of America’s mail room, the folks at Nintendo feel that translating Mother 3 into English will not yield much profit in the states.

So, a crew of ragtag die-hard Earthbound fans have taken upon themselves to translate it into English for all of us English-speaking gamers who can’t read a lick of Japanese. I, myself am a huge Earthbound fan and have been holding off playing Mother 3 until I could actually understand what was going on. If you’re as excited as I am, download a GBA emulator and a Mother 3 ROM. At the end of the week, a patch will be available that’ll translate the ROM for you. Finally.

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P8tch Things Up With MILF Hunter

See this patch that looks like it belongs on a messenger bag from 1994, right next to that goofy Nirvana logo? Good. First off, it’s not a patch like on your mommy’s quilt, it’s a P8tch. It features a special barcode that your cellphone (possibly) can scan. When scanned, the “patch” takes you to the URL of your choice. Have a popular tech blog you want people to know about? Need MILF Hunter readily available from wherever you are? This is your solution. And cheap it is not. One of these URL-encoded P8tches will run you $20 + shipping from the UK. Fucking brilliant.

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Life Index Will Tell You How Long You Have Left

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In the year 2154, biometrics might be so advanced that they will be able to tell us how long we have left to live based on data retrieved from our bodies. Or at least that’s the type of technological advancement that the creator of the Life Index is hoping for in the future.

Envisioned by One & Co for the Timex 2154 competition, the Life Index is worn like a nicotine patch that acquires biometric feedback from the skin, including fitness level, stress, nutrition level and the environment. It then uses this information to make an educated guess on how long you have left to live.

I guess the real question is whether you’d want a gadget that could put a number on your life or a guesstimate from one of those stupid online surveys. And more importantly, would the ever decreasing number convince you to quit smoking, drinking and having unprotected sex while simultaneously shooting intravenous drugs with dirty needles?

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