Gearfuse

What are babies known for? Mainly pooping and screaming. That’s just the nature of the early human life. And who can blame them? The only problem is that the screaming is almost impossible to decipher through the human year. To us, it’s all just screaming. But apparently there are at least five different types of cries and the Cry Translator iPhone app claims it can distinguish between them all.

The Cry Translator helps decode the mysterious yiping of your newborn, dividing the scream’s cause into one of five basic categories: hungry, sleepy, annoyed, stressed, bored. It might be hard to believe, but the app claims it can “reduce overall infant crying.” And for $9.99, that’s a little piece of heaven for new parents.

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I’ve fooled around with most of the major operating systems and Ubuntu is easily the most adaptive. It’s just made for users to fuck around with. So projects like this are possible, if not encouraged.

This Ubuntu wizard used a script to make the computer open and close the CD drive over and over again. But for what reason, you might be asking yourself? The main drive behind this invention, much like any innovation, was laziness. He didn’t feel like rocking his baby to sleep so he let his computer do it for him. The momentum of the drive keeps the baby rocking, just make sure the drive’s motor doesn’t burn out.

Link (Thanks Eran!)

“Son, we’re going to the 7-11 for dinner. Put your shoes on.”

“But father! I’ve lost my sneakers whilst playing in the woods this morning!”

“You little shit. Those shoes cost me $17 from Walmart. Are you trying to embarrass me?”

“No!”

“Well I’m hungry as shit. Here. In the mean time, put these Wiimote covers on your feet.”

“I’m gonna become Mario! Wait till I find Peach in the forest and we find Yos-”

“Shut up already and put the goddamned plastic on your feet, OK kid?”

“Yes, father.”

“Good. Now C’mon. I’ve got a spicy bean burrito with my name on it that needs to be rescued.”

Link [via]