Gearfuse

It might seem like some sort of lazy fantasy, but a Japanese astronaut recently tested out a pair of J-Wear anti-bacterial, flame retardant, antistatic, and water-absorbent briefs which are supposedly wearable for weeks at a time.

Astronaut Koichi Wakata says he wore the panties for about a month and received nary a complaint. That’s great that they can use them in space, but when will they be available for more practical use, such as playing WoW for weeks at a time without changing my clothes (I’m pictured above after one of my WoW marathons. Warcraft is great for my tight abs.)

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This is the geeky stuff wet dreams are made of. The “Slide to Unlock” iPhone panties are the extremely sexy answer for the clueless nerd. Even if you’ve never had a previous sexual experience (probably about 90% of our audience), the handy iPhone guide will ease them into sexual knowledge.

Each pair is $12 and worth every single penny.

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Ooh, nice hips. Fancy keeping track of your girl because you’re an obsessive douche? Then Brazilian designer Lucia Lorio’s “Find Me If You Can” lingerie line isn’t quite for you. Consisting of a lace bodice, bikini bottom and faux pearl collar, it’d almost be ordinary lingerie attire if it wasn’t for the GPS device visibly tucked away in the bodice.

At first we were skeptical of the concept, but Lorio assures us,

“It’s not a modern chastity belt. Some men think they can keep tabs on their girlfriends with it, but they’re wrong.”

The truth is, the possessor of the GPS can only be found if she wants to. She could hand out the password to her GPS to every guy at the party, but if she turns it off – all doors are closed. “A wink to women and a challenge to men,” says its creator. But, don’t go digging through your pocket just yet. This lingerie is in the $800 to $1,100 dollar price range – that’s some serious spending for a girl who’s probably going to put it on and then run around handing out her GPS password to everyone but you.

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Owning a coffee table like this particular model is most likely going to freak out any ladies whom you’ve invited over for dinner.  It’s got women’s undies pinned in between two pieces of glass, clamped together like a chasity belt. Additionally, the clamps also work as the table’s legs. Your friends will think you made it yourself and obtained the garments either during a Sorority panty raid or a collection of leftovers from your ex-girlfriends.

It doesn’t matter how you got the panties; the only thing that matters is that it isn’t a coffee table modeled after a Nintendo controller.  If it was, the panties wouldn’t be in your apartment in the first place.

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