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‘Lookin’ Retarded’ Isn’t A Def Leppard Song

See this picture above you? How could you not? It’s ridiculous looking. You’d think it was a VR unit from your favorite 1993 arcade. It’s not. This is the Exar Paradise, a home oxygen bar that is way too big, looks stupid and probably won’t fit in your third-floor walk up.

Like I said, I don’t see how anyone except the exceedingly rich would purchase one of these. What makes it so special? Oh how I am glad you asked…

Clicking on the “O2 smart e O2 fantasy” navigation option gives us an animation of two office workers flying through space with more austere office models, advertised as an “elegant portable oxygen ministation for home, office, professionist.” The Oxy regeneration system looks more relaxing, covering the user’s face with a giant hemispherical dome called “Mecum,” which combines oxyhuffing with “video theraputic visions,” while the chair delivers a shiatsu massage to its occupant.

I’m sold. Let me go grab a few vials of Ketamine and we’ll be ready to rock.

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Oxygen Bag Gets Me Light Headed

When it comes to climbing, backpacks are an important part of your apparel. They carry all of your food, equipment and in some rare instances something beneficially misplaced. That’s where the O2 Bag comes in. The Japanese adventure supply company, Ymup has equipped this ordinary backpack with a battery-powered oxygen generator, making those ascents into thin-air environments all the more breathable.

The company says the battery lasts up to two hours, so your climbers better be on top of their game or else you’ll find yourself choking for air at the summit while your lungs collapse. To help boost morale, members of your climbing party should outfit themselves with a backpack boom box, because good tunes always comes first before health. While you’re at it, you might as well bring some massaging backpacks. It’s a long way to the top.
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