I don’t know about you, but I’d find it quite difficult to take steps with this thing straddled in between my legs. Alas, it is Honda’s inevitable desire to give me blue balls with its latest device geared towards the disabled - the walking assist device with body weight support system. Honda is no stranger to assisted walking devices for the eldery, but it is treading in new waters by trying to get men to sit on this thing.

If that saddle wasn’t sitting uncomfortably underneath my package, the device would never reduce the load on leg muscles and joints. It’s supposed to support a portion of a person’s body weight with help from a seat that just crushes your junk. If you ask me, it looks as bad as some bike seats.

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Hailing frequencies are open for these two nutcrackers modeled after Star Trek’s Kirk and Spock. If you haven’t already picked up that ball-busting Hillary Clinton nutcracker, than that means you’re still in the market for a utensil to crack your favorite nuts. Although back ordered at the moment, these two nut busters will be available before Christmas for $34.95. Perfect gift for the Star Trek nut in your family.

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If you’re wondering how George Washington Carver discovered three hundred uses for peanuts, you’re wasting your time. Everyone knows there is only one use for peanuts and that’s the creation of delicious peanut butter. By the end of the month, this peanut butter machine will be available for you to crush up your favorite shell nuts into creamy rich nut butter.  Mmm - nut butter. Who knows how many double-ended jars you could fill with an endless supply of homemade nut butter and with your MacGyver-skills, you could come up with some interesting blends of nuts.

You could open your own shop that sells custom nut butter and if the name hasn’t already been taken, you could call your store, “Totally Nuts For Nut Butter”.  You might be thinking, is $50 dollars a decent price for a peanut butter machine? Are you fucking kidding me? I’d put my house on a second mortgage to get a hold of one of these!

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