SlipperyBrick painfully reminds me of what a loser I am with its latest list of geeky goodness. More importantly it reminds me that I’m a loser who’ll never get a chance to eat these desserts. Conner Flynn has comprised a list of 25 geeky cakes he feels were cleverly made to fit into his belly, all the while my belly remains emptier than a disco club in 2004.

Among many in the list are some familiar ones you may have seen before such as the iPhone cupcakes, some Star Wars cakes, the infamous LEGO Batman cake and the uber elaborate Super Mario Bros. wedding cake. Of course, I post the picture of the Enterprise’s bridge because I’m a Trekkie. Don’t bust my nuts about it.

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We all do some pretty dorky things in our time. Whether it be waiting two hours to get an autograph from William Shatner or cosplaying as one of your favorite Star Wars characters, dorkiness never escapes us. Hacking a video game to propose marriage is another feat that tops our list. A guy who goes by the handle TheRealPfhreak hacked a Chrono Trigger SNES ROM to propose his love to his girlfriend.

In the game, a golden knight spawns on top of one of the mountains in 1000 AD and begins to rant about a woman he loves. It just so happens that TheRealPfhreak’s girlfriend was playing and stumbled upon the golden night who revealed his love to the player herself. Talk about breaking down the fourth wall.

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It’s a no-brainer that some people play WoW a little too much. MMORPGs have always been about investing an insane amount of time to develop your character. We won’t ridicule forum-goer Gamer Prepared who runs 36 accounts of World of Warcraft because after all, that requires a serious gaming rig. What better way to eliminate the entire purpose of playing in a MMORPG community full of other players by playing with only yourself.

Finding a guild is just too hard these days and dealing with newbies is horrendous. However, these aren’t the reasons behind Gamer Prepared playing 36 different characters. What’s the real reason? He wants to raid Ironforge and Stormwind with his guild. What a dork. It costs him $5711 in subscription costs per year and when he goes to pick up Wrath Of The Lich King, it’ll cost him $1500 for 36 copies of it. All of that money for one unsatisfying night of PVPing with 36 of your own characters with a town full of idle players and NPCs. Sounds fun.

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You’ve gotta be one fat fucking loser to want to tattoo “Wel-come to the social” on your shoulder. It looks like some five-year old tattoo artist did it, or at least thought up the idea. It’s bad enough it’s the Zune slogan, but even worse: it’s a terrible slogan. Considering no one bought the Zune except this guy and four other people leaves little to be desired in regards to being welcomed to the social. Thanks for welcoming me, now where’s the exit?

Long time Zune fanatic Mszunefan is not the only one looking for the exit. He posted on Zunescene:

“I am done. I have had the Zune since day 1 and have noticed little improvement. I have tried my best to support them every step of the way but the recent Xbox Live announcement at E3 made me lose it. To not include Zune Marketplace or the ability to load videos from Xbox Live to your Zune made me finally give up. I am in the works of figuring the best way to get a new tattoo to cover the logo on my arm. Thanks for all the harsh comments and you will see very little of me anymore.”

Note to self: never tattoo a lousy corporate logo and a terrible slogan to match, onto my skin. I’ll only cover them up later with the latest Microsoft OS logo.

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If you want your children to grow up to be big and strong nerds just like you, you’ve got to start teaching them young. And let’s face it, 11 year olds aren’t going to sit there and listen to you read from a C++ book. That’s where C Jump comes in for the win.

Made for children 11 and up, C Jump is a board game (even geekier than other board games we’ve seen) which teaches kids the basics of C, C++, and Java coding. According to the product page, the “game helps to develop understanding of a complete computer program, formed by logical sequences of commands.” Bribe them to play with McDonald’s. If they don’t play, they don’t get their toy. (more…)

Having little room for a gaming space in your home can lead to a lot of trouble. If you have your Wii located on a small, unstable table and you’re worried about the console sliding around, check out these Taore na Sheet W adhesive rubber feet for both the Wii and its sensor bar. At first thought, these might seem useless considering there are no controller wires to trip over. But remember, there are still power cables. And there is also the gaming nerd’s affinity for clumsiness. And oh yeah, gamers do love pussy cats. Cats who happen to jump up on tables and cause mischief.

The Taore na Sheet W adhesive feet are set for release on March 30th for the price of 800 yen ($6.82) or 3,000 units of Khazikstani pubis. — Andrew Dobrow

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No matter how much RAM or other hardware you shove in to your case, no computer system is immune from it. That’s right…a computer crash. Any system can burst at the seems with the high performance of our Web 2.0 world. It’s nice to have the knowledge to know that even though your system might crash, at least you don’t have to arrive back at your desk to a glaring blue screen.

The Kick-Off connects into your USB port, keeping a constant tab on your hardware performance. So what does the Kick-Off do that we can’t do ourselves? Let’s say the computer system that controls the network in your house were to crash, yet the resident nerd wasn’t home to fix it (probably at a anime convention). The Kick-off automatically reboots your system and even goes as far to cause a power off/on switch if needed.

For $179, the Kick-Off can be yours. Keeping your business up and running, connected to those series’ of tubes known as the internet. A bargain for any business who knows what down time feels like. — Andrew Dobrow

Product Page [Sophisticated Circuits, via OhGizmo!]