Wear them as a necklace, wear them on a charm bracelet, shove them in you anus. It’s all in good fun! Right, random guy I met at the gym who promised to “clean my pipes,” whatever that means?! Stop looking at me!
Can you still remember the satisfying click of a Polaroid camera? If you can, it’s about time you got a digital, just sayin’. I mean, you can create a Polariod effect with like, two clicks in Photoshop.
But if you’re still a Polaroid geek and proud of it, then don’t fuckin’ listen to me. I’m a douche bag anyway. You should totally rock your pride with this Polaroid Pendant necklace.
True audiophiles love everything about the art of music and the process of listening to it. They love to advertise their insane sound prowess, rather it be with snobby and ultra complex non sequiturs or t-shirts advertising their love for sound.
These Jack Plug Necklaces, available in 24-karat gold plating, would surely transmit some awesome audio, if they were made to do so. Instead, they are there just to show people how much you love the sound of a great song on a system which they could only dream of owning.
You know how sometimes your girlfriend will just blather on and on about completely nothing when all you really want is for her to shut her dirty pie hole? You could tell her to zip-it and likely get a bitch-slap in response, or you can be slightly more subtle and offer her this trendy Zip-It Zipper Necklace in exchange for her silence.
Inspired by people who just can’t shut their mouths, the Zip-It Necklace is the generous way of telling someone to shut the fuck up. The necklaces are made from 100% authentic zippers so only the finest zippering action should be expected. You can choose from antique gold and antique silver (both 12″ long) or polished silver (13.5″ long). The going rate is $50. Surely less expensive than that diamond pendant she’s been running her mouth about.
Bitches!
I’m eatin’ chips
I’m gettin’ salty
You wanna steal my Lays, better make sure my security system is faulty
Throw ‘em on the neck
Throw ‘em on the neck
Potato chips be danglin’ and nobody frontin’ on my styles
Droppin’ mad cash
Fifty dollar sack
Gotta keep my cred up and my carbs down, motherfuckers!
Let me tell you something, anyone making a DIY Hemp ANYTHING is a pothead. I don’t care if they happen to live in California and grow cannabis with less than 3-percent THC content. They’re still a pothead. Supplies for a hemp necklace include a charm of some sort and a shitload of marijuana plants. Just intertwine the stalks together and eventually, you’ll have a stunning, smelly piece of jewelry.
Or you could follow Lorain Blanken’s instructions and do it the correct way. Your call.
Some of you may recall a company called AOL that used to give out CDs by the millions. I mean you couldn’t even piss in a Six Flags bathroom without seeing free AOL CDs. Going ice skating? Have an AOL CD. Grabbing a burger from McDonalds? Have an AOL CD. Jerking off? Hey, don’t forget the AOL CD!
So everyone took one and eventually threw it out. What a waste! Instead of chucking your unwanted CDs, consider reusing them for other purposes like Neko Design has. The Mexico-based company has created beautiful pieces of jewelry that really are works of art. The catch? Each piece is made from an old CD or DVD. Save the world, look good and have an AOL CD.
Geeks, software engineers and bloggers take note: Mother’s Day is May 11th. Don’t disappoint Mom again this year by giving her shit like that self-erasing paper she can’t figure out with Python code written all over it (import > loveyamom.py.) Moms love stuff like flowers, gardening and jewelry. Why not get her a gift that draws influence from all three – yet – still lets her know you’re her special dork?
Enter the Pixelated Posey Necklace. A beautiful pixelated lilac hangs from a purple lace strap ever so elegantly. Plus, there’s a good chance your mother is in love with lilacs. At $25, you really can’t go wrong unless UPS breaks it.
Remember. May 11th. It’s a Sunday. Don’t say I didn’t give you the heads up…
