Gearfuse

I’m sure you’ve heard about Republican vice president candidate Sarah Palin’s e-mail account getting hacked. Turns out, the hacker knew more about her personal life than both the Republican party and the press. The hacker had guessed that Alaska’s governor had met her husband in high school, and also knew Palin’s date of birth and home Zip code. With those details, the hacker tricked Yahoo’s e-mail service into assigning a new password, “popcorn,” to the Alaska Governor’s e-mail account.

A formal investigation has been launched by both the FBI and the Secret Service against the hacker who has since come out anonymously via the Internet but there is no word on his identity. While it certainly was a violation of Palin’s privacy, the following question was raised: should Governor Palin have been using a non-government e-mail to conduct state business? Also, does this evidence imply improper political activity? I think not, but Sarah Palin definitely needs to think of some better password recovery questions.

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Huge news today. John McCain, the Republican nominee eying the White House in November, just announced that his vice presidential candidate will be Sarah Palin (on the right, obviously), a real hot piece of ass from Alaska. This 44-year-old soccer mom most likely did a ton of coke back in the ’80s when she was a star basketball player and is now married and the Governor of Alaska. She’s young, full of sass and most importantly, a hottie.

Did I mention she eats Moose Burger? Interpret that however you please.

Surely some of you are concerned about her political record. Allow me to reassure you that Palin has the experience we need to lead this country:

In 1984, after winning the Miss Wasilla contest earlier that year, Palin finished second in the Miss Alaska beauty pageant which won her a scholarship to help pay her way through college.[4] In the Wasilla pageant, she played the flute and also won Miss Congeniality.

She gets high, too! Wikipedia says that Palin “…admits that she used marijuana when it was legal in Alaska, but says that she did not like it.”

Gentlemen, Ladies. I think we have a careful decision to make come November: left-hand or right-hand?

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I love the mean, snarl-toothed looks these gargoyles have. Whether you hate Obama or McCain, your political adversaries will be sure to get hot-headed when they see one sitting on your desk. At $25 each or $40 for both, these make a great gift for anyone remotely interested into politics or Satan. I still have one question, though: Where’s Bush?

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Depending on your political affiliation, this site is now offering the three major contenders as downloadable and printable finger puppets. But really, shouldn’t it be the other way around? Shouldn’t they have finger puppets of us?

Whether you are a McCain man, a Clintonite, or an Obama brotha, you can print out all three of the finger puppets and hold your very own debate. And sorry boys, the Clinton figure isn’t anatomically correct. (more…)