Nowadays, digital clocks need to be installed in public schools because the human race is evolving into a new, dumber mammal. I embrace this change, however, I still can read an analog clock. I say we make it even harder for our dumb-founded youth, by installing these 11.5-inch clocks in every public school across the nation. Sure, the twelve and the one hands are simple mathematics, but the seven hand might be too many variables for your average confused by a digital clock student.

So I ran through all of them with my trusty calculator, double checking to make sure they were right, only to be left in dismay over the fact that a few of the answers aren’t whole numbers. What the hell is 9.0047 o’ clock? Either way, it’s a thought-provoking design with an incalculable price tag.

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Mixing together the design of Rubik’s Cube and the brain-teasing mathematics of Sudoku, the Sudokube is a puzzle that your brain might be too scared to even attempt. The product page claims this toy is for Ages 5 and up. What sort of 5-year-old is capable of solving this and where does he live? So I can kick his scrawny smug ass to prove my worth.

The square measures 2.25″ on all of its sides and is available for only $4. When the puzzle isn’t even complete in the promotional image, it’s time to worry. — Andrew Dobrow

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