Gearfuse

If you’re not familiar with the Madden curse, it is the bizarre coincidence that every player to land the cover spot of a Madden video game has faced an injury or other major set-back which effected their playing ability during the season they are featured. Eerily enough, this coincidence has maintained consistency since 1999, when players began to be featured on the cover of Madden games.

This year, the curse continues, as Steelers’ safety Troy Polamalu was injured in the first half of the first game of the season, while trying to recover a blocked field goal. I know that injuries are common in football, but if I was Larry Fitzgerald I’d watch my back.

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This just in, we’re getting reports that with the release of Madden ‘09, Jesus Christ is no longer needed. Teens across the country who once believed that Jesus was the next messiah have been lining up outside Gamestops across the country at midnight and proclaiming that the game is “off the fucking chain, yo.”

“I ain’t got no time for God an’ shit” says Anthony Dominguez, 22. “I’m tryin’ to, ya know, buy this motherfucker for the 360 then play it all fuckin’ day, ya feel me dawg? I even took off work tomorrow and called my shorty to make my b-fast.”

With the inclusion of Brett Favre as a NY Jet, rumor is it a 2.4 magnitude earthquake will occur outside the Circuit City in Pasedena, CA. $60 and your pride Madden ‘09 will cost ya.

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