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People Lie When They Say They’ve LOL’d and Other Interesting Cellphone Stats

lol

UK phone retailer Right Mobile Phone conducted an interesting survey among their customers and got some intriguing results. According to their survey:

  • 71% say using their favorite song as their alarm clock, versus the system default or no alarm clock at all, made them feel happier that day
  • 80% say not receiving a reply to their text messages makes them feel “negative”, whatever that means
  • 41% said going by one day without getting a text message made them feel unpopular or lonely
  • Less than one in 10 people, 9% to be exact, actually laughed at a text message despite 61% of people using “LOL” in a text message
  • None of the people surveyed have ever rolled over the floor laughing, otherwise known as ROLFing, or laughed their asses off, otherwise known as LMAO or in my case LMFAO
  • 82% of people love to hear from their partners or people they deeply care about on a daily basis
  • 18% of people don’t pick up when their parents call
  • 78% of people tell someone that they love them using a mobile phone on a daily basis
  • Less than 7% of people said they could go one whole day without using their mobile phone
  • On average, people have 95 people in their address book
  • 69% of people call or text less than 8 people a week
  • 18% of people have pretended to receive a call or text messages

Now, what can we distinguish from this survey? We’re all a bunch of fucking liars and sneaks.

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Joke of the Year: Microsoft Asks Apple To Be More Open

steve_ballmer_tongue_funny_nasdaq

Aahahahahhsshsghadfhdhskjgaorghia9reygoihjfajowfjvazjsb
aahahshdhahahdahahahahaha.

Can you believe it? Microsoft, the fuckers who have made Windows forever and never make shit open-source are now calling for Apple to be more “open”. Says Steve Ballmer, douche supreme, says ‘”I agree that no single company can create all the hardware and software. Openness is central because it’s the foundation of choice.”‘

Bahahahahahahaa. Sorry, sorry. I’ll try to maintain composure. It’s important that we al-hahahahaahaha oh man Microsoft is a fucking trip. When will they learn? Never. That’s when.

LOL

Steve Jobs Flips Off IBM (’80s Edition)

Title says it all.

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Classic IBM Packaging

Here’s a photo of a ledger from the 1984 collection from IBM. Those striking pastels and regal fonts really bring it all together. Look how proud IBM was:

“For the introduction of the IBM PC, we designed the packages and software manual, creating, instead of the industry’s usual cheap plastic binders, hard-bound linen covers and slipcovers in pastel colors to stress cultural elegance and personal values.”

Personal values? Holy shit, IBM. You just blew my fucking mind.

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Smilecup

Nothing makes the weekend better than a hot chocolate on a cold night. Keep it cheery with this Smilecup from Studio Psycho. Hit the jump for more smiles.

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The History of DRM As Told By Penny Arcade

This made me chuckle quite a bit. Ah, the good times. DRM just plain sucks now.

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I CAN HAZ MAGNETS

Love played out Internet memes? Of course you do! Why not drop your hard earned cash on these LOLmagnets from ThinkGeek? At $20, you’ll only have to take 4 or 5 showers to wash off all the shame you’ll encounter from purchasing these. You’ll get a ridiculous LOLspeak manual and 384 “words” to spell out kooky catch phrases with.

CAN WE HAZ STOOPID MEME END NOW? KTHXBAI.

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This Is What Happens When You Play Too Much Wii

HAAHHAHAA WII IS SO GAY!

Yup.