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Rumor has it that the Princess has been kidnapped. Again. I swear, sometimes it feels like she’s doing it on purpose. Anyway, lord knows I’m way too drunk to go on a ever-lasting quest to save that attention whore. Using my unstoppable power of Hassid, I can create a golem. A man of the Earth. But not using dirt. Oh, no. Monsters come in many shapes and forms. This golem in particular is more a hero than a monster. See,... Continue reading

So picture this. Your playing Zelda and your down to your last half heart. Your completely out of water and there’s a mob of enemies approaching. What do you do? What… do you do? What else can you possibly do? You pause the game, run into your kitchen, grab your cup set and you make a Triforce Latte as quick as humanly possible. It’s the only way! Link [via]

(Very loosely sung to the tune of “Oh Christmas Tree“) Oh, 8-bit tree Oh, 8-bit tree Your ornaments are so epic Oh, 8-bit tree Oh, 8-bit tree Mike Tyson makes me want to use anti-septic You make me smile and you make me bow I really wanna play some Zelda now Oh, 8-bit tree Oh, 8-bit tree Your ornaments are so epic Link [via]

You’ve either gotta be really poor or really lazy to show up to a cosplay event dressed like this. Otherwise, this is actually a pretty cool shirt. I’d rock it like Keith Richards. While your Master Sword decal might not do much damage to your enemies… actually, I can’t think of a positive point for having a sword decal. I’d say it attracts the chicks, but come on, let’s be honest with ourselves. Hmm…. but on the other hand. Link... Continue reading

One reason I hate having guests over is having to juggle three or four mugs of coffee at once. You’d think they’d be polite and reject my offers of a warm beverage, but no, it’s always take, take, take. Why is  there never any give?! HUH?! Anyway, the point is that juggling so many mugs isn’t only annoying, it could be hazardous. If one of them just “happens” to “slip” out of your hand “accidentally” and spews scalding hot liquid... Continue reading

When I was a kid I had my birthday at a bowling alley, like, 3 times. I was just that awesome. But if the bowling pins looked like this, I’d still be having my birthday parties there. These custom painted gaming bowling pins are equal part ugly and geek. Mario might look like a pedophile and Link like a deranged serial killer, but hey, this is the closest you’re likely going to get to a full set of geeky bowling... Continue reading

Some lucky mother and baby is about to get the coolest damn baby shower gift of all-time. This hand-knit Legend of Zelda-themed Link baby outfit, complete with baby bottle quiver, is an amazing example of what an expert needle worker can do. This is exactly why I’m learning how to crochet, despite the incessant bullying. I’m about to kidnap some knitting granny, lock her up in a crate, and force her to make me an adult-sized version. She’ll get some... Continue reading

Birds are classy. They deserve to be treated like royalty as they run a muck in our neighborhoods, waking us up with annoying chirps and shitting all over our cars immediately after they’ve been washed. Etsy seller Ohthepollybilities makes these quaint teacup bird-feeders with an ordinary China teacup and some well-placed chain links. The seller describes its possibilities as “endless” but I see little productivity in this teacup for anything other than a bird feeder. It could be hung by... Continue reading

Everyone has been comparing Bethesda’s Fallout 3 with Oblivion. That’s a real shame, considering Fallout‘s true roots lie with Black Isle Studios. Though the game may not be what long-time Fallout fans are hoping for, it certainly will be remembered for the gore. One thing I’ll miss: groin shot. Here’s a few good reads on the upcoming post-apocalyptic pseudo-RPG from Bethesda: Destructoid E3 08: Fallout 3 Hands-On Crave E3 2008: Fallout 3 Fallout 3: A Post Nuclear Blog IGN E3... Continue reading

Pump up the jam, pump it up, now pump those links, yeah, we jammin’, pump it up now pump it! Is this paddle for chocolate or bums? I guess Hunter doesn’t like balloon and tape graffiti Tux getting fucked in the ass by the BSD devil on a lighter Omg! Deals! This is one hot TF2 case mod You can’t go wrong with more Killzone 2 footage Don’t drink and DIY Tailgating just got a lot more fun Why is... Continue reading