Most people are clumsy others are just plain stupid. That’s why these $39 dollar Flower Fire Extinguishers exist. It’s for those wanna-be chefs out there that like to light oil and/or alcohol ablaze to explode the flavor of their creation but only ever ends in an explosion of fire in their face.

They look like decorative flowers but, much like the Transformers, they’re more than meets the eye. When you find yourself in the midst of a cooking fire you’ll need to think fast, that’s why these flowers have a magnet on them so they’ll cling to most surfaces around your stove. When that pan goes up in flames, simply place the flowers in it and they will work their magic, covering the oil with a disgusting film that prevents the breakout of the flames and ruins your appetite for dinner in the process. It beats burning alive because of someone’s clumsiness.

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For those not familiar with Marc Owens’ work, he’s the man behind the Avatar Machine. It’s a suit which allows the user to view themselves as a virtual character in real space via a head mounted interface. Now he’s working on another suit that’s sure to turn heads. According to a study that found that 54 percent of all males and 68 percent of all females gender swap in a virtual setting, psychologists have proven that the majority of people aren’t satisfied with their gender and want to cut their genitals out.

Thankfully, Marc Owens has the cure. If you’re the kind of guy that feels comfortable dressing up in your mother’s clothes or the kind of girl whose always wanted to play QB on the high school football team then the Virtual Transgender Suit was made for you. It replicates the aesthetics of the typical virtual female form while portraying it in physical form, kind of like if you were to act out Facebook in a real life setting. So, if cross dressing just seems a little too gay for you, how about trying out the Virtual Transgender Suit? You’ll look like a woman but no one will criticize you because you’ll look like a virtual woman.

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Portable devices are with you wherever you go. That’s exactly why Duracell wants to charge your phone or iPod. By powering handheld devices with its PowerSource Mini, Duracell can save you precious battery life so long as you charge via mini USB. Currently it comes in two forms: one for your iPod and the other to power your BlackBerry.

This isn’t any ordinary battery charger- it can power two, that’s right, two devices simultaneously with its second USB port. While it serves the same purpose as an emergency AA battery, it packs a meaner punch with a boring design. No word on the pricing or whether or not it’ll ever be able to charge inexpensive Bic disposable phones, but one things for certain: you’ll never not have enough juice to surf porn on your BlackBerry during your daily commute home.

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This was huge news for both NASA and the world, until today. Yesterday, the Phoenix Mars Lander heated up a soil sample from the surface of Mars. Upon heating it, a sensor identified vapors of water, meaning there very well could be life on the Red Planet.

“We have water,” said William Boynton of the University of Arizona, lead scientist for the Thermal and Evolved-Gas Analyzer, or TEGA. “We’ve seen evidence for this water ice before in observations by the Mars Odyssey orbiter and in disappearing chunks observed by Phoenix last month, but this is the first time Martian water has been touched and tasted.”

NASA will continue to operate the Phoenix Mars Lander until September 30th, when the mission will come to an end. If there’s water on Mars, then I don’t see why there can’t be life-forms on the planet. Could we see men and women on Mars in the next 15 years? Quite possibly.

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Step aside, Second Life. There’s a new time-wasting virtual social network just released by Google. It’s called Lively and it’s your ticket to the cyber world, complete with emotes and customized avatars. Screw that pay to play bullshit on Second Life. Hell, no one wants to hear your lame cyber concert anyways. Play on a real stage or go home!

Lively’s client is free to download and runs with IE or Firefox. Images and videos are viewable in Lively, as well as the ability to embed websites, like your Tumblr or other blogs into your Lively “living space.” Though the content isn’t quite there on Lively (lacking an economy like that of Second Life), it’s still free to play and you’ll feel less dorky playing it than you would with Second Life. Give it a try and let us know how it is.

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Some people panic in the moment of life-threatening scenarios, such as the man sitting next to you in a diner going into cardiac arrest.  Designer Ryan Helps has designed a “CPR-PAD” to assist those too incompetent and uncoordinated to give correct CPR. When in use, the monitor on the pad shows the correct way to push the chest and it will click when proper pressure is obtained. A light flashes to assist the life-saver in correct rhythmic chest compressions.

With this hilarious design, you’ll finally have your chance to “align nipples” with some busty beauty, in an honest attempt to save her life. When she comes to, she’ll look around frantically and embarrassingly ask, “Was is necessary to remove my shirt and bra?”

Of course.
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In the year 2154, biometrics might be so advanced that they will be able to tell us how long we have left to live based on data retrieved from our bodies. Or at least that’s the type of technological advancement that the creator of the Life Index is hoping for in the future.

Envisioned by One & Co for the Timex 2154 competition, the Life Index is worn like a nicotine patch that acquires biometric feedback from the skin, including fitness level, stress, nutrition level and the environment. It then uses this information to make an educated guess on how long you have left to live.

I guess the real question is whether you’d want a gadget that could put a number on your life or a guesstimate from one of those stupid online surveys. And more importantly, would the ever decreasing number convince you to quit smoking, drinking and having unprotected sex while simultaneously shooting intravenous drugs with dirty needles?

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Mophie must be ecstatic. As the first iPod/iPhone accessories manufacturer to nab the coveted “Works With iPhone” seal-of-approval, Mophie’s Juice Pack Battery Extender is likely to be the first sold in Apple stores and such. With an LED battery indicator on the back, similar to that found on Apple laptops, combined with long-ass battery life (24 hours of additional audio playback, 250 hours of standby time), Mophie could easily see increased sales thanks to a single badge on the front of its box.

Non-slip finish, fits your iPhone like a glove and goes for $100. If you use your iPhone as your primary PMP, this is probably an invaluable addition to your daily tech arsenal.

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Most clocks, the ones that are based around seconds, minutes, and hours, can be watched for movement if you really need to waste some time of boredom, though we’ve seen clocks which are both much more fun, and more beautiful to look at than your average clock. The Lifetime Clock, on the other hand, is based on years. The movements of the hand are so slow (1/61320th of a normal clock speed) that you’ll need a time lapse camera to spot any clear movement, so you might want to grab a book instead.

Each number on its face is separated by 7 years of your life, and you’ll have to live a full 84 long years until you can see one full revolution around the dial. That’s a lot of children to throw off your lawn. — Andrew Dobrow

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Personal hygiene is extremely important these days. The way you appear and smell is the making of a good or bad first impression. Though in order to make those first impressions, you have to know when you have meetings. Why not mix the two life tasks together?

The Shower Curtain Calender reminds you of any upcoming events you have, so you know when to be clean and when you can just let yourself go for a day. But not too long. When the flies aren’t even hovering around you anymore, it’s safe to say you’re a one-man health hazard and it’s time to get in the damn shower. — Andrew Dobrow

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