Every now and then there comes a lamp that makes me tingle. I’m not referring to the Smoon Ombrella or the Centipede Lamp, though those two are weird in their own right. Designer Chris Natt was fed up with varying levels of light in his work environment, so he made this lamp, the Stimuli 3.0, that will keep the light level constant. When asked, “What the hell is this thing you made, Chris?”

His response, “It’s a lighting system whose shape and therefore light output sensitively varies inversely with the surrounding natural light intensity. For example, at dusk, illumination gradually increases as natural light recedes. At the heart of this device is a unique 3 axis gear box which enables this subtle alteration of lighting through an attractive and striking change in form of the device.”

Very cool, indeed. It’s like a chameleon but instead of color-changing skin, it’s camouflage is the light and it adjusts accordingly. I can’t imagine skulking in front of my Hot Pocket-infested desk in the office of my Mother’s basement without one of these to keep the light level just right.

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This table lamp designed by Alexander Lervik might look like just an ordinary lamp modeled after the human brain, but it’s so much more to Mr. Lervik. It’s called MYBrain and interestingly enough, it is Alexander Lervik’s brain. OK, it’s not his actual brain but it’s as close as it ever will be while propped on a stand, having light illuminating from it.

The lamp is based on the artist’s real brain after an MRI scanning and processing through a 3-D printer. He’s lucky that 3-D printer didn’t turn his brain into a Little Lamp, otherwise all his colleagues would be poking fun.

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Sometimes size doesn’t matter. But we all know that only men lacking in the trouser snake department say that. For example, don’t buy a Ferrari because you have a tiny penis. Sure, you’ll get a date out of it but, once you drop your pants, that girl will be singing to the whole town about what you aren’t packing.

Why not show her something worth talking about that isn’t connected to your body, like the Little Lamp. What makes it so little? The fact that its power source is also its stand, which happens to be a D-cell battery. It packs quite the punch for such a tiny lamp and one battery provides 150 hours of light from an LED bulb that’ll outlive the next 40 batteries you use on it. At $35, it won’t confuse your lady friends at the dinner table like the lamp candle and it’ll also give them a hint of what’s to come.

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No, really. This sculpture really does suck. It’s made from a shit-ton of colorful drinking straws and you can make your own if you find yourself inclined to do so. It’s not just a sculpture, though. It’s also a lamp! Yes, light up your room and take a hit. Let the grooves flow, then, snap out of it and realize your lamp is made of straws. Way to go, tackimaster!

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Sometimes you stumble across a piece of gadgetry that can really help brighten up your home (both figuratively and literally). Essentially, the Smoon Ombrella is a device that acts as a light source and vaguely resembles a glowing moon in the sky when placed on your Manhattan rooftop or sun room or dungeon, etc. The product of furniture designers Beau & Bien, this LED lamp runs off solar energy and can go a whopping 6 days on just 10 hours of charge.

This Plexiglas beast won’t come cheap. At $2200, it’s most certainly catered to the rich. Something tells me you could design a similar non-solar version for much cheaper.

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Centipedes are fucking gross. They squirm around on the floor and scare the shit out of chicks. I’d say a centipede is good for nothing except shitty ’80s video games but I’d be wrong. Seems there is a freaky centipede-inspired lamp you can own for $2600. I can’t tell how big the actual lamp is because the photo has nothing in the foreground for scale but one thing’s for sure: you are not getting laid with this thing next to your bed.

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Not much is known about this red lamp that’s shaped like a huge cupcake diamond. It’s produced by IARF (Interior Adventures For Real) who I assume has quite a sense of humor. For real.

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Strive for originality in your gift-giving? Have glassblower Livio Serena from 5.5 Designers whip you up a pair of eyeballs. Eerily realistic with the ability to light up your room (they’re lamps), the Cloned Eyeball Lamps are bound to make an impression on whoever you decide to give them to. Just don’t go using them as anal beads, mkay?

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Here’s a great way to eavesdrop on an unknowing sap’s conversation. Objects in Flux’s Scott Mitchell has turned a vintage lamp into a parabolic microphone for recording. It’s got volume control and a headphone socket mounted in the lamps base. This way, no one other than the headphone wearer gets to hear the goods. And by goods I mean the sound of your roommate banging away the night.

The whole project is powered by a 9V battery, which is fitted inside the lamp shade, out of site out of mind. While it does amplify the sound, it suffers in performance due to the small size of the parabolic dish. Mitchell provides circuit diagrams and instructions for the project, perhaps you’d like to make your own, more effective, lamp microphone?

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Designer Adrien Rovero got confused when coming up with the Candlelight electric light. Half romantic candlelight dinner, half-end-table study lamp. You’ll either impress your date for the evening or confuse her. It’s a simple decision: light the candle or flick the switch? Or you could even light ‘em both up simultaneously.

After dropping $150 on this dual light source, you’ll only find yourself using the candle side to mitigate your electric bill to make up for the money lost after buying this thing.

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