Know what sucks? Getting stung by a wasp. Know what really sucks? Someone stabbing you with the WASP Knife. Sure, getting a blade to the gut can be painful, but with the WASP, you’re also getting a crushing 800 PSI blow to your body. Whether you’re fighting dirty terrorists on dry land or stabbing sharks in the high seas, this knife is going to make sure your target is inflicted with massive damage. And while you can’t make a lamp out of it, it’s still one impressive knife.

Using disposable cartridges of compressed gas, the additional force caused by the WASP will probably rupture internal organs and fracture bone. Supposedly, the knife is for non-civillian use but some scammy website has it on sale for $380. If you’re one ruthless sonofabitch, might as well slap down the Benjamins for some cutthroat action.

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The Nihon Uni company, a uniform producer in Chuo Ward, Osaka, has developed a meshy t-shirt that is said to be knife-proof, and could save many from suffering being stabbed or shanked. The strength of the ultrahigh molecular weight polyethylene fiber material used to create this shirt can be compared to the material used in aramid fiber body armor. It certainly beats wearing armor made of CDs.

Conveniently machine-washable, Momma won’t have any trouble cleaning out the blood stains from this shirt, not saying there would be any, because it’s knife proof and everything. Just to point something out, the model wearing the T-shirt must have some seriously diamond grade bio-engineered nips, because those things look just about ready to slice through the fabric, unless it’s an optical illusion or some severe wishful thinking. — Andrew Dobrow

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