Gearfuse

Oh, man. The transformation is complete. Barbie is now officially inked. The oldest teenager in the world (can you say “mid-life crisis?”) is now offered a new world of tattoos, thanks to Mattell’s new “Totally Tattoos” line of no-mess decals. No, I am not making this up.

Mattell offers a range of 40 tats to disfigure Barbie’s beautiful clear skin, including a strategically designed tramp stamp which declares her love for Ken. Didn’t they break up or divorce or something? More tat love after the jump of doom.

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I can’t get enough of corny retro video game commercials.  When I saw this Street Fighter 2 Turbo promotional video posted on Dooby Brain, I just had to share it here.  It reminds me of the better times in my life, when wearing cardigan sweaters and listening to Nirvana was cool. If you pay close attention to the video, ignoring the overly rhapsodic attitude of the asshole in the blue baseball cap adorned in reverse, then you can pick up some early ’90s slang you won’t hear anywhere else.

“Did you see that new move? Aw, that was bad!” says one guy playing Street Fighter 2 Turbo. What the kid really meant is the exact opposite: the move was impressive. But, because this is the early ’90s and everyone was still recovering from the ’80s, it was considered cool to say things that make little sense. The video has some great tips, too. For example, did you know you’ve got to jump before executing Ken/Ryu’s hurricane kick? I sure didn’t. After seeing this video, who would ever want to play the game in the arcade? “Fight Balrog, instead of the crowds!”

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