TAG RESULTS FOR: jedi

I guess if you’re not gifted with a feel for The Force like I am, you have to rely on other methods of balancing your spiritual and physical prowess. It’s totally understandable. Not everybody can be a student of the Jedi ways. But it’s still important to keep on your toes. You just never know when your planet might be infiltrated by Imperial forces. Star Wars Yoga is a perfectly acceptable alternative for those less attuned in the ways of... Continue reading

The Force is strong with this one. A quick analysis of this subject’s fecal matter confirms it. The midi-chlorian count is off the charts. We were wrong about Anakin. I’d like you to meet Rex, the Chosen One. The one who will restore balance to the Force. Ahh, yes, yes. Dog Vader’s plan is almost complete. Link

Comparing the size, design and describing the ultimate fate of each lightsaber, this image is the easiest and most straightforward guide to the lightsabers of the Star Wars universe that we’ve ever seen. Well, a more accurate description would be the Star Wars films, because lord knows there were a bunch more lightsabers featured in the various novelizations and comics. I think my favorite is a pretty close tie between Obi Wan’s original saber he lost in The Phantom Menace... Continue reading

I can’t say I’ve every thought of Jedis as edible, but if you think about it, eating Yoda might actually be OK. He’s not human, so it’s not technically cannibalism. But it would be a little odd eating a creature that could talk back to me. The Yoda Pizza is made using green peppers, black olives, mushrooms, mozzarella cheese and tomato sauce. Or you can just attempt to bag your very own member of Yoda’s species. Good luck with that.... Continue reading

How much more awesome would the Revolutionary War have been had it been fought with lightsabers? I think the answer is pretty clear. Link

Even with the Force at your back it’s hard to stay cool, calm and collected when you’re battling the dark side. Your hands WILL get sweaty and slippage might occur. The Lightsaber Glove holster saves you from embarrassing lightsaber fumbles. This Lightsaber Glove Holster advertisement is prnted on a t-shirt, so it definitly exists somewhere. T-shirts never lie. Ever. And as you can see, it’s Yoda and Obi Won approved. Link [via]

When I get out of bed in the morning, I must admit, I’m not feeling the Force as strong as I should be. Hell, some mornings I don’t even feel the Schwartz. I know, I know, I should feel the Force at all times, but without my trusty Jedi robes, I don’t feel much of anything. The force is always with me… in bed. Wielding my flesh-toned Penissaber, my conquest against the evil Darth Vagina will not cease until penetration... Continue reading

To become a true Jedi knight you must be properly trained. Both humans and frogs alike must travel to the swamp planet of Dagobah to seek out Yoda, the legendary Jedi knight. I don’t know about you, but I don’t have the money to send my pet frog to same fancy pants Jedi school. The best I can afford is this Dagobah Frog Tank. It might not exactly be a trip into the stars, but that’s the best he’s gonna... Continue reading

We’ve already seen such classics as Pride and Prejudice and Zombies, and Sense and Sensibility and Sea Monsters. But this is a classic of a whole new sub-genre. The first ever zombie Star Wars novelization, titled Death Troopers by Joe Schreiber, will feature hoardes of zombie Storm Troopers. Something tells me that they will prefer Jedi brains. I’m way too excited about this. Link [via]

What’s more important to you? Looking cool or eating sushi that is actually technically sushi? These Lightsaber Chopsticks might cook your sushi, so it might be more of a seared salmon and rice type dish. These ChopSaver chopsticks are available in red, blue and green colors and are likely to break a few plates over the years. Our advice? Don’t use your finest china unless the force is strong in you or you’re a trained Jedi.