TAG RESULTS FOR: infant

If you shake your baby to death for ANY reason, you have more problems to worry about than Farmville addiction, but this is a case of Zynga devotion taken to a whole new level. 22 year-old Jacksonsville, Florida resident Alexandra V. Tobias shook her baby to death after the three-month old Dylan Lee Edmondson had been crying during a rousing session of Farmville. Tobias allegedly shook the baby once, then had a cigarette to calm down, and then shook the... Continue reading

Not every kid can swim like Michael Phelps, though every kid ought to. Parents, we understand. Sometimes you just don’t feel like sitting around watching the kids splash the water from the safety of dry land. After all, if they aren’t winning Olympic gold, what’s the point? That’s exactly why you bought the Safety Turtle Wireless Pool Security System for $167, effectively putting a price tag on your child’s life. Now you don’t have to worry about your kids drowning... Continue reading

When I was a baby, as my family traveled the harsh path of the Oregon Trail, contracting dysentery and having our wagon wheels crack on a normal basis, we could hardly afford a booster seat to keep me high enough to reach our dinner of venison. We had to use the Yellow Pages to boost my booty. I remember the paper cuts like it was yesterday. This plastic Yellow Pages-themed booster seat offers the same asteic as the ghetto booster... Continue reading