‘Warcraft’ Sequel Lets Gamers Play A Character Playing ‘Warcraft’
The Onion covers the latest Blizzard game, World of World of Warcraft. In this exciting new sequel, you’ll be able to play as an avatar playing World of Warcraft. You can get on the phone with your ISP when your ‘net connection goes down, microwave Hot Pockets and help your character level his rogue.
The sad part is that if it were really released, people would buy it.
Summer is approaching, which means you’ll want to equip all your top-of-the-line tech gear with water resistant plastic sleeves to survive those long trips on your million dollar yacht. Like Vince’s custom zip lock bag he crafted with his own sweat and tears, it protects your gadgets from…sweat and tears; oh, also rain. While not completely water proof (due to the openings in the back to allow air flow), the plastic wrap provides more protection from afternoon showers than your goofy umbrella.
Perhaps the greatest use of a remote controlled device in history: a flying penis flew into the middle of a speech from former chess master and Russian political activist, Garry Kasparov. It seems someone took the time to turn an RC helicopter into a flying cock.
After the security guard swatted it to the ground, Kasparov says, “I think we have to be thankful for the opposition’s demonstration of the level of discourse we need to anticipate. Also, apparently most of their arguments are located beneath the belt.” Someone in the audience shouts, “Finally the political power shows its face!” Kasparov quickly replies, “Well, if that’s its face…” to laughter from the audience.
A large flying penis that took nearly 20 seconds before someone decided to swat it out of the air. I’m pretty sure the last thing you’re going to want to do after seeing a flying penis is touch it. Hit the jump for video of the junk in action.
It’s Friday again and you know what that means: It’s Remote Controlled Lederhosen Day! Ok, not really, but come on! I needed an excuse to write about this totally meaningless gadget. It’s literally so lame that it’s cool. I mean, just look at it!
The mystical Lederhosen walks and yodels all on its own while being controlled with a frankfurter themed remote control. There are no words. Well, actually there is one: FAIL! If you’re really willing to go there, it’s $7 a pop.
There is no way of knowing whether a dude or a chick wrote in this confessional to Mr. Know-It-All (a question-and-answer syndication in Singapore,) and frankly, it doesn’t matter. Whoever it is, they are actually sexually obsessed with Transformers.
They describe a problem they’ve been having where they’ll stare at their car for hours, hoping it will transform.They call themselves “More Than Meets The Eye”, and they’ve even gone as far as quitting their job because of their fear that they’ll miss their car’s transformation. My advice? Seek the care of a professional physician. And fast!
I won’t be able to check out GTA IV until later tonight, but apparently, if you venture into an Internet cafe and explore around the private network the Rockstar crew has set up, you’ll find a page poking fun at everyone’s favorite company.
Instead of Apple, you see Fruit. And yes, it implies two things. That you are gay because you use Apple products and that you are a snob. While both aren’t necessarily true for every Mac user out there, it’s still a fun jab at the corporate world. After all, would you expect any less from the guys who let you fuck hookers in cabs? Didn’t think so.
Love the banana-shaped iPhone.
If you live in a major city, you know about the crazy homeless religious fanatics which turn up every so often at a major street corner, clutching a Bible to their chest and preaching about the upcoming apocalypse and how we’re all going to burn in hell. Meanwhile, Pastor Hobo over here is chugging booze through out his whole sermon.
For true drunken religious fanaticism, you need an expert solution for hiding your booze. And since most of these hobos remember every verse from the Bible anyway, they luckily don’t need a complete book. The Good Book from Suck UK is truly a great book for the nomadic preacher, hiding a 4oz flask within its “pages”, and would sure make an awesome prop for the next Tarantino flick.
“Don’t drop the soap.” is the first bit of advice given out to every new prison inmate. We really don’t want to explain why, but you probably get the hint. ANYWAY, maybe if jailbirds had a tad bit more “relief” in the shower, they wouldn’t be so eager to spot out any soap droppers.
The Stroke On A Rope is a hand shaped bar of soap, with the hand in a position that makes it perfect for scratching those… very hard to reach places (LOLZ, it’s a masturbation reference!) Sure, it goes without saying that the Stroke would serve as an awesome gag gift for only $9.99, but what about a beneficial use in prison?
Try singing the title of this post to the tune of Styx’s “Come Sail Away” and I think you’ll find yourself mildly amused. Regardless, it seems for some reason, a random Japanese manufacturer feels that putting a piece of string around a ZipLock bag constitutes use as a waterproof case for your PSP. Would you buy this? Would you seriously take your easily-earned cash from selling pot to high schoolers and buy this “waterproof” PSP case? No and I’ll tell you why. I’ll show you how to make one:
