Gearfuse

Hear that flood? That’s the sound of Apple shareholders and investors selling off their stake in the company as quickly as humanly possible. Why? CEO Steve Jobs just took a temporarily leave of absence from Apple. Here’s his note to Apple employees:

Team,

I am sure all of you saw my letter last week sharing something very personal with the Apple community. Unfortunately, the curiosity over my personal health continues to be a distraction not only for me and my family, but everyone else at Apple as well. In addition, during the past week I have learned that my health-related issues are more complex than I originally thought.
In order to take myself out of the limelight and focus on my health, and to allow everyone at Apple to focus on delivering extraordinary products, I have decided to take a medical leave of absence until the end of June.

I have asked Tim Cook to be responsible for Apple’s day to day operations, and I know he and the rest of the executive management team will do a great job. As CEO, I plan to remain involved in major strategic decisions while I am out. Our board of directors fully supports this plan.

I look forward to seeing all of you this summer.

Steve

Now this is what we call epic shit in the tech industry.

Link

Steve Jobs is a lot like a teenage girl. He is all about the outfits, obsesses about his foes and is dealing with hormone issues. Wait, what? That’s right. The Wall Street Journal posted this excerpt of a statement from Steve Jobs:

…my doctors think they have found the cause — a hormone imbalance that has been “robbing” me of the proteins my body needs to be healthy. … The remedy for this nutritional problem is relatively simple and straightforward, and I’ve already begun treatment.

Losing protein doesn’t sound very healthy, but really Steve? Hormones? Perhaps I should get you a stick of Proactiv for your acne and a book on wet dreams or “nocturnal emissions.” It seems that all the Apple rumors about Steve Jobs dying, etc. can be laid to rest…for now.

UPDATE: Steve Jobs’ letter from Apple.

Link