When you’re at a kicking party that’s got a ton of free wine and hors d’oeuvres, your hands are bound to be full. With this re-imagined paper clip, however, holding a glass of wine with your dish full of appetizers will leave your other hand free to shake hands and/or grab asses.

The Polish design studio Razy2 is calling this paper clip the Kylpsos. Designed by Paulina Krauza and Jacek Ryn, two party freaks who can never have enough free hands for ass grabbing. With a free hand, picking your nose at parties is no longer problematic. At least for me.

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Birds are classy. They deserve to be treated like royalty as they run a muck in our neighborhoods, waking us up with annoying chirps and shitting all over our cars immediately after they’ve been washed.

Etsy seller Ohthepollybilities makes these quaint teacup bird-feeders with an ordinary China teacup and some well-placed chain links. The seller describes its possibilities as “endless” but I see little productivity in this teacup for anything other than a bird feeder. It could be hung by a sink to hold sponges, or hung in your bathroom to hold your assortment of toiletry, but who the fuck are you, Martha Stewart? They’re are available for $20, a small price to pay for birds in your yard, chirping your name in the morning.

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