Gearfuse

If realism were a reality, rather than a philosophical perspective, the world as we know it would change before are eyes. For one thing, there would be no more reality TV (clearly), and the classic “I Love (heart)…” t-shirts would look a little different.

The “I Love Realism” t-shirt illustrates just how different life would be if reality really was reality. An anatomical heart replaces the heart symbol on this anti-abstract tee. I imagine playing poker would have a whole new gory spin as well. Can you stomach the four of hearts?

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If you’ve been looking for that perfect gadget to give your little bratty 12-year-old daughter who just happens to find My Chemical Romance “mucho suave,” as the kids say these days, the bulletproof heart, designed by Jörg Höltje, might be just the ticket to insure she is the coolest little hipster bitch in her middle school. Strategically designed to ward off bullets to her most sensitive organ, even the slightest squinty-eyed look from one of the Jonas Brothers should be properly shielded.

Now, as from protecting anyone from actual bullets? That’s a little trickier to explain. See, if they just happen to get shot anywhere but the heart, they’re pretty much screwed. But you could make the argument that the only thing worth living for is your heart anyway, or something like that? Whatever dude. Where’s my Taking Back Sunday album? Bonus: Would look great with the sissy Urban Security Suit.

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Take a plasma ball from Spencer’s Gifts and throw in a little love and you’ll wind up with this Electra Heart Lamp. It resembles the heart and if you touch it, electricity from inside will go to your fingers a la plasma ball. Fantastic looking but unfortunately, it’s discontinued. A shame, considering it was only twenty bucks.

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Pacemakers are turning out to be more problematic than their original conception intended. The electronic device that runs the arterial show can not only be controlled wirelessly, but can also be deactivated by nearby MP3 headphones. Research teams are suggesting that patients wearing a pacemaker should stay more than three centimeters away from such devices as the interference from the headphones could prove fatal by temporarily deactivating the pacemaker.

Scientists are now completely re-thinking the pacemaker. The cloaking device was the first step to pacemaker-hacking prevention. Unfortunately, someone must now come up with a pacemaker not affected by the headphones. Remember to never walk through a retirement home with your new iPod.

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Get Cobain out of your head, ’cause this isn’t Nirvana related. I’m talking about this slick fireplace from Arkiane. It’s called the ICOYA and although it won’t do much except keep your mansion warm, it’s certainly a statement piece. Rather than question how much it costs, why not draw up conversation on how you got it for your significant other and make yourself look good for a change.

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This morning, time stood still as I came upon this article on how a team of researchers at Rice University in Houston are working to create a beer that could fight cancer and heart disease. They’re genetically engineering a beer that includes resveratrol, a disease-fighting chemical that can been found in red wine.

These folks deserve the Nobel Prize in awesomeness. Before now, beer has always been that drink that tasted great, made you feel like a million bucks and left you with a gut and a bad hangover. Now, it does all of those things in addition to promoting a healthy heart. Fuck eating Cheerios; drink beer instead.

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Remember that fishy business about the potential for hackers to prematurely shut off a pacemaker via a wireless communicator? Since many people use pacemakers to keep their heart beating, scientists are taking this loophole extremely seriously and have raised a solution to the issue.

Proposed is a cloaking device, an external attachment that the pacemaker owner would wear, resembling a medical bracelet. The cloaking device would prevent any harmful form of remote access to the pacemaker, keeping the wearer safe from any malicious wireless attacks. The cloaking device would be removable just in case doctors need to modify the pacemaker as needed. Ain’t nobody shuttin’ my heart down, girlfriend!

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Kevin Fu, an associate professor at the University of Massachusetts at Amherst, and his team have been working with pacemakers for quite some time. Having reverse engineered a pacemaker, the team found a frightening loop hole. It turns out that a built-in test mechanism for the device includes a bug that can be exploited by hackers.

There is no cryptographic key used to secure the wireless communication between the control device and the pacemaker. This makes it real easy to build your own wireless device that can control the pacemaker. And by “control the pacemaker,” I mean shut it off. Hopefully, this discovery will lead to defense mechanisms put in place that’ll defend those who wear a pacemaker from any remote attack on their heart. Until then, you might want to keep your pacemaker on the DL.

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Siberia. You’re locked in a vicious poker game worth a $5 million pot. The wind howls outside and wood creaks with every movement. You look at the host. You and him both know that it’s cold and a fire is in order. The fireplace is out of commission, though, so what are you going to do? You could reach for that portable fireplace but you’ll have to forfeit your hand.

Easy! I’ll whip out my tabletop fireplace from Apoll. Sure, it set me back like $675 and shipping but what’s money when you have the warmth of a fire gracing your frozen hands? With Sterno-like fuel and a glass and steel frame, you won’t have any trouble getting some heat out of this gadget.

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Sarah Hillenberger designs parts of the body from wool. You have to see the entire set to believe it. I’m partial to the intestinal track.

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