Celebrating the recent ruling on the Second Amendment? Grab that Colt .45 and slap the $695 Pistol Cam on it. It attaches to most handguns and records up to an hour of MPEG4 audio and video. Amazing as it sounds, it’s primarily designed for law enforcement with the Orange County SWAT team giving it their approval.

I’m pretty sure that this Pistol Cam combined with uncensored video hosting like LiveLeak.com will lead to many a video of soldiers dicking around.

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The next time your girlfriend refuses to cook you breakfast, grab her by the throat, choke slam her like Hulk Hogan and tell her, “Go ahead, make my coffee.” She’ll roll her eyes and kick you in the nuts as you pretend to act like Clint did in “Dirty Harry”. Though you might not possess the same charisma as Mr. Eastwood, you can still feel like a trigger-happy badass with the Gun Mug.

Though it won’t help you carry out revenge, it’ll hold a hot, delicious cup of coffee. Made from porcelain and available in black or white finishes, the Gun Mug is a steal at $16. Ten bucks says some idiot finds out about this cup and tries to rob a bank with it.

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If you’re like me, constantly looking to buy furniture for the house that is not only cheap and tacky  but also expensive, Jellio’s line of squirt gun tables is that and so much more. At $325 the “Candy table” is a ordinary glass table, hollowed out and filled with squirt gun tanks from your favorite Super Soaker squirt guns growing up. Now, while sitting at your squirt gun table, you’ll reminisce of your youth when you didn’t have a care in the world.

Then you’ll over analyze your position in life today and try to kill yourself over nostalgia.

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When you and your friends fight over who’s going to be first player in Mario Kart,  Doom or whatever game you happen to be playing at the time, the most effective way to handle those sort of situations has always been a best out of three game of Rock, Paper, Scissors. What if we told you there was a way to choose paper every time and never lose?

If you can manage to create anything close to the Paper Wars reproductions of classic weapons, organized by PostlerFerguson, I’m pretty sure there would be little debate as to who the winner is, even if your opponent is clearly holding out two fingers in the scissor pose. You think you won? Well try cutting through my paper AK-47, motherfucker! Yeah! What now? (more…)

You feelin’ lucky today, punk? Well, shazzzam! If you need a new accessory for your Whiskey Holster, you might be very lucky indeed. The Hijos de Villa Tequila Gun chooses to opt out the violence of bullets, and replace every “shot” with 200ml of tequila in all of its drunk-aiding glory.

You know what would be awesome? Drinking all of the Tequila (since that’s the only way you’ll ever be drunk enough to do this), replacing it with urine, and threatening to shoot it at your friends. Or random strangers on the street. That works too. People will assume you’re spraying them with tequila (or water, if they don’t see the label), and you’ll be able to snicker slightly to yourself as you’re bathing people in piss. List price is $60, but they are currently out of stock.

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So, you have a killing spree planned for the future, but you just can’t decide on what weapon to use for the mass slaying. Allow us to suggest the FMG9 Foldable 9mm Submachine Gun. Not only does it pack in the power of a normal 9mm, but is made ultra-portable with the sleek folding design.

When the gun isn’t being used to slice through the souls of innocent civilians, it functions as a portable radio and flash light. Perfect for those long nights on the run from the authorities. Editor’s Note: Civilians are not (legally) permitted to purchase the folding Submachine Gun. The article is based on something we like to call creative license. — Andrew Dobrow

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This is the dream toy of boys everywhere. While kids under 10 might not understand the power of this, just show them a picture, it’s in their genes to know that this is great. This, my friends, in an automatic rubberband machine gun. Remember the rubberband guns that took forever to reload after just one or two shots? Well, this doesn’t exactly solve the time to load problem, but you get to shoot about 144 rubberbands (12 barrels x 12 bands) in one go. So what use can this amazing invention go to? Can you say “payback teachers”? Another problem arises here; because it is about 40 inches tall, you might have a hard time moving this monster from point A to point B. So how much will this behemoth of a gun run you? About $400. Sadly, the reward of seeing your brother with 144 rubberband bruises might not be worth that much. — Nik Gomez

Rubberband Machine Gun [via UberGizmo]