Gearfuse

Not quite completely fingerless, but just enough so that you can access your touch screen phone, the Etre Touchy Gloves keep your hands as warm as possible, covering all of your fingers except the thumb and forefinger. Sure, it might be mustache-free, but that’s the price you have to pay.

With only two fingers missing warmth, you might look a little silly, but the utility of not having to remove your gloves, and not being pushed away from wearing gloves in the first place, is so worth it. The winter chill is harsh, but so is not having any access to my iPhone. At least I can save my other three fingers from frostbite.

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In the winter I usually like to grow a full-blown beard, as it helps to keep my face warm and crisp through the harsh snowy season. My skin, on the other hand, has an issue with the hair growth and personally holds me accountable. I’m pretty confidant that I’m allergic to my own hair. I get patches of dry skin wherever I grow in my facial hair — dry skin that remains crusted unless I properly moisturize. It’s actually pretty distressing.

These Mustache Gloves would save me some time and some embarrassment. Not only would my upper lip be warm as I walk around with my finger settled just below my nose, but I’d also get to look like a French aristocrat if I so desired, thanks to the two different mustache options provided by the gloves. They also offer discrete finger sniffing! You can grab a pair on sale for $65, usually $95.

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I don’t know why I love this so much, but I do. Handerpants are tighty-whities for your hands, gloves inspired by the classic testicle confining pair of underwear.

Just imagine how creeped out you would have been if Michael Jackson wore one of these instead of his one shimmery glove. Warning: After sustained use you might want to get your hand’s sperm count checked out. I’m only slightly embarrassed to admit I want a pair. Scope out the video after the jump, including a Billy Mays wannabe.

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Here’s a design concept that will get any woman’s husband in the kitchen. It’s a cloth/handkerchief that also doubles as an oven mitt. You can lift hot plates using the dotted-outline of a glove and blow your nose with the rest of the cloth. I beg the question, can you pick up hot plates and blow your nose? Riddle me that, Jim Carrey.

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We don’t want to know what you use these Dr. Manhattan Gloves for. We really don’t. Whether you’re using them to act out your darkest of sexual fantasies, or simply need a new pair of dish washing gloves, do as you will, but no asky, no telly.

No matter what you use them for, they are just too damn cool to pass up. I mean, really? You’re not going to own a pair of Dr. Manhattan gloves? And you call yourself a Watchmen fan. Not to mention they would serve as an excellent distraction from your woman’s brute man-hands, which remind you more of Rorschach anyway. How the hell did they even get like that? She’s not a construction worker. Though she might be working some “construction sites” on the side.

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While the DOTS gloves looked to be the ultimate texting gloves, there’s now a new pair of mittens in town. The Freehands Glove features removable thumb and index fingertips, perfect for wintertime activities. No twirling your meat with these babies but texting should work out A-OK .

Fleece goes for $20 with some other fabric going for $30 and leather costing $40. The fleece ones seem like a good buy.

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Come winter, I will not wear a standard set of gloves. I am a texting machine and I need my fingers ready to pound on that “S” key all day long. So I wear cut off gloves. It sucks but it will have to do. Women? They’re lucky. They can wear DOTS gloves. At $13 to $18 a pair, they’re not only affordable and warm; they’ll also let you text with ease.

Thanks to miniature touch-sensitive buttons on the fingertips, you’ll be able to actually use your iPhone without getting frostbite. Bodacious!

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We take our drinking games real seriously. Whether it be public inebriation or an intense match of Flip Cup, you’ll need gloves to make sure your hands are not only protected but also comfortable for reduced muscle strain. That’s just what the manufacturer of these gloves promise: a glove that will aid performance in a game of flip cup.

When the night is late and you’re staggering home, vomiting after every five steps you take, you’ll be happy you bought these gloves when you fall to your hands and knees in crapulence. At least your friends will have been amazed at the flawless performance of Flip Cup you played earlier that night.

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If you’re a smoker, you know that smoking outside in the winter is a very unpleasant experience. If you smoke gloveless, your hands feel like they are freezing over. If you smoke with gloves, your hands are warm, but holding the cigarette becomes an obstacle. These Smoking Mittens make polluting your lungs an easier experience.

Where I live, smoking is banned indoors unless you’re in a privately owned home. Which means lots of outside exposure to the elements. The Smoking Mittens add a small hole on one of the gloves that allows you to hold your cigarette easily without having to risk limb hypothermia. — Andrew Dobrow

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