So many viable options, so little time! For the low, low price of $30 you too can get a head start on your completely non-stereotypical career choice. Who doesn’t want to grow up to be a cheerleader?
JBL has always been a purveyor of fine audio, which makes total sense considering its parent company is Harmon Kardon. A few years back, I reviewed some Reference 220 earbud headphones, which were affordable and sounded great on the iPod. This time around, JBL has teamed up with Quiksilver’s surfin’ sister company Roxy on a line of headphones that are catered towards young women. Do they stand the test of time? Perhaps.
This is the geeky stuff wet dreams are made of. The “Slide to Unlock” iPhone panties are the extremely sexy answer for the clueless nerd. Even if you’ve never had a previous sexual experience (probably about 90% of our audience), the handy iPhone guide will ease them into sexual knowledge.
Each pair is $12 and worth every single penny.
If you’re a true geek you’ve likely either dated a Japanese girlfriend or fantasized about having one. If by any chance you actually have one, they would surely go totally nuts over these Panda Ear buds. You know how girls, in general, not even specifically Japanese, are into this cutesy shit.
Even if you’re a hipster dude, you might dig wearing these buds. One thing’s for sure. Even though you might look a little desperate, the ear pandas are sure to get you some feminine attention. Check them out for $15 from FredFlare.
Our douche of the week award goes to Mayor Gregg Manning from Clayton, California. He ordered city police to raid a fruit stand that two little kids (I mean like, little kids here) were running. He cites it as a traffic hazard and some bullshit commerce laws. Check out what Sir Douche himself had to say:
Clayton Mayor Gregg Manning … wonders what Katie and Sabrina might do with that produce stand if the zoning laws weren’t enforced.
“They may start out with a little card-table and selling a couple of things, but then who is to say what else they have. Is all the produce made there, do they make it themselves? Are they going to have eggs and chickens for sale next,” said Manning.
Wow. Unbelievable. You’re such a big man now, Mr. Mayor. What’s next? Vandalism charges for chalk drawings on a sidewalk? Call Gregg Manning directly at (925) 673-7316 and in an appropriate, respectful manner, let him know what you think of his absurd and asinine actions. Justice must be served.
We like girls. Pixels, polygons and even cosplay, the girls of gaming come in all shapes and sizes. But for this list they can come in only one shape: curvy. We’ve selected 25 of the sexiest video game babes EVER. So while you’re relaxing at the beach with your laptop this July 4th weekend, we thought it’d be nice to provide you with some eye candy that surpasses even the bikini-clad beach broads sitting next to you.
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Finally, a self-proclaimed “perfect woman” robot. AI Robotics has created a fully functional robot woman who won’t get tired of your sloppiness, leave you for another man or stop giving head just because you got married. The robot’s name is LISA and she can cook, shop, clean, give back rubs, get naked, get dressed, suck a mean dick, recharge herself automatically and to top it all off: she’s got an IQ of 130. You’d be lucky to find an organic woman with an IQ of 130.
Sure, she has a creepy look to her, but when did that ever stop you from knocking boots with someone? You’ll get your chance to bang one come June 11.
If and when you see a hottie wearing this binary nail polish, she might be one of two things: a keeper or a tranny. Either way, be on the look out as she’s probably using the nail polish to lure unsuspecting geeks back to her dorm where she’ll bang you then devour your soul like the succubus she truly is. That or she’ll try to make you do her calculus.
