Bleak wine corks just don’t do it for me anymore. I need a wine stopper with some flavor, some spice. Something that bares it all without sacrificing the work that a wine stopper provides. Something like this pole dancing stripper wine stopper.

She does bare it all and she’ll never fuss about working early mornings or late nights. All she’s looking for are a few dollar bills to be shoved into her panties. Her going rate is $9 dollars, which is quite possibly the cheapest call girl - ever.

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What do antique telephones and dragons have to do with one another? Fuck if I know, but this controller’s design is sporting both. In light of the holiday season, Microsoft has released red and green versions of it’s wireless 360 controller that come packed with a charge kit for $65 bucks, while Walmart is exclusively selling this hideous design bundled with a wired headset for $50.

If you’re a girl, in art school or both then maybe this controller design would appeal to you. As for myself, well, I’d rather fuck a monkey with the Ebola virus than be caught playing games with this thing in my hands.

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I’m assuming only Japan could come up with something this twisted.

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The above picture shows Chris Gray’s winning truck tarp design that was selected for FREITAG’s Design-A-Truck Contest. Here’s one 18-wheeler that won’t settle for any gas station that isn’t the least bit artsy. Having trouble making out the design? Allow me: it’s a disproportional girl on a swing in sexy striped stockings. I think it won because of the stockings. The runners up were even more unsavory, one being a matrix rip off and the other being a paper-cut out collage you could’ve made in MS Paint. Once the winner’s design roams the countryside for the next 5 years on this truck as it secures its status in pop culture, the art will be made into a special limited edition collection of FREITAG bags.

It’s all about design. Now, as for some of the other works shown in the top 30, there were a few that stuck out that would’ve suited the look of a truck better but were not so much the look FREITAG was going for. Hit the jump to check out some of the shown 30 that attracted us: (more…)

I saw this picture and just couldn’t resist.

First, it was digitally altering the fireworks. Now those commie bastards are at it again! According to The Telegraph, the little 9-year-old girl in the red dress than sung “Hymn to the Motherland” during the opening ceremony, Lin Miaoke, is nothing more than a puppet. Turns out a small girl with “buck teeth” called Yang Peiyi was hitting all the notes backstage while the bitch in the red dress danced around.

At the last moment a member of the Chinese politburo who was watching a rehearsal pronounced that the winner, a girl called Yang Peiyi, might have a perfect voice but was unsuited to the lead role because of her buck teeth.

So, on the night, while a pre-recording of Yang Peiyi singing was played, Lin Miaoke, who has already featured in television advertisements, was seen but not heard.

“This was a last-minute question, a choice we had to make,” the ceremony’s musical designer, Chen Qigang, said. “Our rehearsals had already been vetted several times - they were all very strict. When we had the dress rehearsals, there were spectators from various divisions, including above all a member of the politburo who gave us his verdict: we had to make the swap.”

Seriously. Way to go, China. Your reputation is getting more and more sour by the minute. I fear that by the end of the Olympics, you’ll have rendered gold medals for every Chinese athlete using computer graphics.

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You want technology? I’ve got your technology right here, pal. It’s called a huge inflatable bouncy castle at some day camp. When you throw a little girl on it and jump on it, it’s going to launch her in the air, right? Wrong. Launch is the understatement of the year for this video.

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Emilie Darrigade is the world’s youngest tattoo artist. Having worked on her father’s tattoo at the age of five in a Montreal tattoo parlor while under the supervision of expert tattooist Robin Labreche, Emilie managed to fill in a black and yellow bumble bee on her father’s arms without going outside of the lines. Excellent Emilie. You get a gold star!  Emilie also plans on working on her father’s next tattoo: a skull with cross bones and fire.

Though spectators claim she can handle the gun fairly well despite its weight, there is no way in hell I’d ever go under the needle with this girl behind it. Only her father would be crazy/cool enough to do that.
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I have to say, woman are interested in some of the tackiest gadgets of all time, most of which carry the Hello Kitty branding. The Mickey Mouse shaped M Player just got shoved down a notch in my book of classiness (which I keep handy at all times.)

With the “ears” decked in fruity Swarovski crystals, and brandishing a revolting pinkish purplish hue, the special edition M Player is also availble in your choice of white, blue, silver, and black. But the pink flavor is just so much more interesting to stab at with prose of cruelty. — Andrew Dobrow

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With this gadget, I think we have a case of the AMX Thermostat mixed with the Undress Me Mug. Some people plan for the weather by watching the news and planning complex and ornate alternate plans for each possible weather condition, including an assortment of outfits laid out for the morning. I, on the other hand, just take a look out the window and see how the passing woman are dressed.

The Stripping Weathergirl Weather Station works on the same premise. The hotter it gets, the less clothes the weathergirl wears. The Weather Station features 15 different forecast icons, for the varying degree of temperatures. The time is set automatically via a radio signal. Personally, I don’t give a shit about the time when I have a scantily clad chick (animated or not) to look at. Get your own for $70. — Andrew Dobrow

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