If your lucky enough to pal around with people like Senior VP of Industrial Design for Apple, Jonathan Ive, than you might be fortunate enough to receive really unique gifts for your birthday. Designer friend of Ive, Paul Smith, received his gigantic iPod Nano from Ive and Ive’s Apple co-worker Jody.
In reaction to the gift, Smith said “as the real thing gets smaller, he sends me a giant version.” Hey, Ive, you wanna go grab a bite sometime?
The next time someone really pisses you off and you want to get back at them, buy them a birthday present they’re sure to hate. Like the Strawberry Slicer. Who in their right mind needs a strawberry cut up this much? Grab a fucking knife and chop twice and you’re done. At $6, it won’t bust your wallet and will make a great gag gift.
You know how sometimes your girlfriend will just blather on and on about completely nothing when all you really want is for her to shut her dirty pie hole? You could tell her to zip-it and likely get a bitch-slap in response, or you can be slightly more subtle and offer her this trendy Zip-It Zipper Necklace in exchange for her silence.
Inspired by people who just can’t shut their mouths, the Zip-It Necklace is the generous way of telling someone to shut the fuck up. The necklaces are made from 100% authentic zippers so only the finest zippering action should be expected. You can choose from antique gold and antique silver (both 12″ long) or polished silver (13.5″ long). The going rate is $50. Surely less expensive than that diamond pendant she’s been running her mouth about.
Do you really need another reason for the ladies to be creeped-out by your house? Your weird collection of Kamasutra Robots and your robotic lovechild are enough to scare even the spiniest of family members away. The addition of a sexually-harassing inter-species flirting Talking Deer doesn’t sound like it’s going to be much help of a help to your social life.
Talking Buck sings “Sweet Home Alabama” to unsuspecting harassment victims, followed by the uncomfortable pick-up line of “You can touch the fur ladies, I’m so soft.” I kid you not. If your female friends haven’t started running by this point, just wait until they see your collection of human candles.
When you combine beer and tools, men just can’t help but get excited. That’s why this cheap $18 bottle opener set is the perfect gift for your boyfriend or husband. Watch the look of joy on his face appear as he realizes you haven’t gotten him the standard Craftsman fare, but a powerful set of beer-crackers. So crack a cold one, and toast to the things we do for love. And beer.
Forgot to send your nephew his Christmas present for this year? Quickly order one of these Plane Mail postcards to send him and quickly place the blame on the US Postal Service. These postcards are made out of wood and pop out into an easy-to-assemble balsa wood glider. Just like the old days!
The best part is that you can write all over the side of the postcard with your messages of love. I’d say this is better than getting cash in the mail. It’s equally fun and a lot more creative. It’ll run you around eight bucks.
This Halo-inspired messenger bag actually looks like a real marine used it. It has that rough, rugged look to it and proudly features the UNSC logo on the side, ensuring that you’re not associated with The Flood. At $36, it’s a great gift for the Halo fan in your family. There’s enough room for an Xbox 360 controller, all the Halo games and an eighth of marijuana. Sweet!
Co-worker a huge dick? Get him back this holiday season at the company’s holiday party. These condoms don’t actually contain a rubber but instead have a bunch of paper clips inside. Loudly announce to your co-workers that you think your co-worker left his set of condoms on his desk, flashing the paper clip set around for all to see. He’ll be embarrassed, until he realizes he’s been screwed over by a set of paper clips. It’s OK. He’ll use them for filing the extra reports he now has to do.
Target must be pissed. The company approaches the holidays with new gift cards that have a built-in 1.2-megapixel digital camera and what does its competitor, Best Buy, do? Best Buy tries a different route with gift cards that have speakers built in to them.
While not nearly as cool as Target’s concept, Best Buy has gotten this far by offering bullshit services like pairing your Bluetooth headset with your phone for $10 bucks. Being able to plug your gift card into your iPod right before you clear the $50 credit at the cash register seems pointless to me. Let’s see if Best Buy follows the way of Circuit City.
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